THE

UPPER VALLEY HOCKEY LEAGUE

January 8th, 2025 - 7:55PM
WABA - White River Junction, VT
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Game ID: 1569

Glass-Shattering Domination: Whalers Sink Mustangs, 5-1

VeNard Breaks Glass, Mustangs Break Hearts


We’ve seen some weird things happen in the UVHL, but Whalers' Captain Dan “The Fenomenon” VeNard set a new standard for pre-game disasters when he shattered the glass with his very first shot of warmups. The delay lasted 25 minutes while the rink crew scrambled to replace the panel, and the extensive warmup honestly might’ve been the most effort the Mustangs put into this game all night.


 


After VeNard finished apologizing for literally delaying everyone’s post-game beers, the game got underway—albeit in a 20-minute halves format to make up for lost time. Unfortunately for the Mustangs, the extra time to stretch and hydrate didn’t help them much, as the Whalers immediately put them in a chokehold.


 




 


First Half: A One-Sided Smackdown


 


The Whalers played like they were double-parked outside and needed to wrap this up quickly. Outshooting the Mustangs 24-8 in the first half, they swarmed, smothered, and suffocated the Mustang offense while their top line skated circles around a confused Mustang defense.


 


Whalers 1, Mustangs 0 – 17:17


 


“Trick Shot” Nate Robinson opened the scoring off a brutal rebound from Colin "The Farr Wall" Farr, who may have left a puck in the slot as a trap just to see if any of his teammates would actually try playing defense. Spoiler: they did not. Robinson buried the freebie with ease.


 


Whalers 2, Mustangs 0 – 15:54


 


Ben “The Rou-ster” Rouillard capped off a surgical passing play that started in the Whaler’s own zone. Ean “Not So” Small and VeNard moved the puck through the neutral zone before VeNard undressed a Mustang defender in the corner and fed Rouillard for an easy redirect. It was so clean, the Mustangs probably should’ve been charged with negligence.


 


Mustangs 1, Whalers 2 – 15:07


 


The Mustangs actually answered back thanks to an individual effort from Will “The Thrill” McGee. Taking matters into his own hands, McGee flew past two defenders, curled back, and teed up Brian “Gritty G” Geraghty, who tipped a shot through Condon’s 5-hole before the Whaler goalie could even register what had happened. It was a great play, and the last time the Mustangs would be taken seriously in this game.


 


Whalers 3, Mustangs 1 – 3:54


 


Jason “The Gatekeeper” Yehle kept a clearing attempt alive at the blue line, feeding Rouillard, who then found Ezra “The Rock” Mock wide open in the slot. Mock’s one-timer was a thing of beauty, sniping low blocker on Farr and sending half the Mustangs’ defense into an existential crisis.


 


Farr made a highlight-reel breakaway save on Colston "No Look" Allen shortly after, forcing him to overhandle himself into irrelevance.


 


Whalers 4, Mustangs 1 – 1:30


 


Nate Robinson, sensing that things were getting too competitive, decided to score from a geometry equation that shouldn’t exist. Taking a rebound off a Fenton shot in the near corner, Robinson somehow caught Farr sleeping from the goal line. Even Robinson was surprised it went in, while Farr could be heard muttering:


 


"Who the fuck shoots from the goal line in the corner?!?!?!"


 


The half ended shortly after, with the Whalers looking like they were playing beer league and the Mustangs looking like they were doing community service.


 


End of the First Half: Whalers 4, Mustangs 1
Shots: Whalers 24, Mustangs 8


 




 


Second Half: The Inevitable Conclusion


 


The Mustangs actually showed signs of life to start the second half, dominating possession for a brief stretch and outshooting the Whalers early in the final frame. Unfortunately, much like their playoff hopes, the comeback never materialized.


 


Whalers 5, Mustangs 1 – 6:37


 


The only goal of the second half came courtesy of a Rusty “Back from the Dead” Teller point shot that took a fortuitous bounce off Bentley Boonyaharn and landed perfectly for Colston Allen, who roofed the backhand over an outstretched Farr.


 


After that, the game turned into a Whalers-sponsored defensive clinic. The Mustangs tried to press, but found zero lanes, zero space, and zero success.


 


In the final seconds, the Whalers had a glorious chance to pad the lead when Ezra Mock found himself on a breakaway with all the time in the world. Rather than humiliating Farr for the sixth goal, Mock respectfully peeled off into the corner, choosing mercy over destruction.


 


After the game, Farr was heard telling a Whaler:
"Make sure to thank the guy that didn’t ruin my Goals Against Average at the end. I’m pretty sure he would have scored."


 


End of Regulation: Whalers 5, Mustangs 1
Shots: Whalers 36, Mustangs 19


 




 


Final Thoughts







    • Glass Breaker of the Game: Dan VeNard, for destroying a piece of the rink before the game even started.



 




    • "What the Hell Was That" Moment of the Game: Nate Robinson’s ridiculous goal from the goal line.



 




    • Best Decision of the Game: Mock choosing not to embarrass Farr any further.






 
Three Stars of the Game


 


? Ben “The Rou-ster” Rouillard – 1G, 2A, Made Mustangs' Defense Look Like Traffic Cones
? Nate “Trick Shot” Robinson – 2 Goals, Including One That Defied Physics
? Colin “The Farr Wall” Farr – 31 Saves, Deserved Better Teammates


 




 


Post-Game Quotes


 


Colin Farr, on the Mustangs' defensive performance:
"I don’t even know why I show up anymore. I should get a free beer for every save over 30."


 


Ezra Mock, on why he didn’t take the last-second breakaway goal:
"I’m a man of honor. Plus, I was already tired."


 


Dan VeNard, on shattering the glass in warmups:
"I was aiming for the top corner. In hindsight, missing the net by 10 feet was not ideal."


 




 


Final Word


 


The Whalers continue their domination over the Mustangs, improving to 6-0 all-time in this matchup. With their top line rolling and Condon looking solid in net, they’re shaping up to be a serious playoff threat. Meanwhile, the Mustangs continue to struggle and might want to look into defensive positioning as a New Year’s resolution.


 


Will the Mustangs figure things out before it’s too late, or will they keep showing up just to get paddled? Stay tuned.

LEAGUE PICK 'EM
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Whalers
0% 
Mustangs
0 PICKS
THREE STARS

Nate Robinson

GOALS: 2
POINTS: 2

Dan VeNard

GOALS: 0
POINTS: 2

Jered Condon

GA: 1
SAVES: 16
SAVE%: 0.941

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