The UVHL Gamblers entered the league in 2008-09 and immediately won the Whalen Cup, which, in retrospect, was probably the worst thing that could have happened to the rest of us.

Most expansion teams spend a few years finding their identity. The Gamblers showed up, handed the puck to Will Meyer, won the whole goddamn thing, and apparently decided this league belonged to them.

Nearly two decades later, not much has changed.

Meyer remains the face of the franchise, one of the greatest players in UVHL history, and living proof that eventually there should probably be some sort of age-related statistical regression. We're still waiting. The man was terrorizing UVHL defensemen when some current players were learning long division, and somehow he's still doing it.

Last season may have been the most Gambler season imaginable.

They finished 11-2-0, scored 82 goals, posted a ridiculous +57 goal differential, and spent most Wednesday nights feeding opposing teams directly into what has affectionately become known as The Gambler Woodchipper™.

Meyer led the league with 28 points because apparently 2009 never ended. Ryan LaCroix, Sean Collins, Billy “River Boat” Rivellini, Mike Marrazzo, Mason Ballard, Luke Deary and Maclean “Stolen Valor” Lalor helped give the Gamblers enough offensive firepower to make the UVHL mercy-rule discussion feel less hypothetical.

Behind them, Tucker “The Italian Ovechkin” Garrity-Hanchett emerged as one of the league's best goaltenders, which frankly felt unnecessary. The Gamblers already had plenty. They didn't need goaltending too.

And overseeing the entire operation is Jay “The Zamboni” Zanleoni — captain, manager, coach, player, spiritual leader, assistant regional manager and presumably the guy who turns the lights off when everyone leaves.

By March, The Casino looked inevitable.

Then came the Whalen Cup.

The Gamblers met the Whalers in an absolute classic, with the league's two best teams finally settling a season-long argument. Unfortunately for The Casino, the Whalers walked away with the Cup, leaving the Gamblers with 82 goals, eleven wins, a +57 goal differential and the least impressive prize in sports:

A really fucking good regular season.

That's hockey.

So the Gamblers enter another season in unfamiliar territory. Not rebuilding. Not retooling. Certainly not shutting up.

They're pissed.

The names have changed considerably since the original Marrazzo-Meyer-Ammel “MMA Line” terrorized the league in 2008, but the franchise DNA hasn't. Score goals. Win games. Irritate everyone. Repeat.

And somehow, through all of it, Will Meyer is still here.

At this point we're no longer asking when he'll retire.

We're asking whether we'll retire first.

Welcome back to The Casino.

“We had the best team in the league last year.”
— Every Gambler, immediately before explaining why they didn't win the Cup