UPPER VALLEY HOCKEY LEAGUE

Lumberjacks need to play more Jacks, Less like Lumber

Pre-Game Report: Lumberjacks (1-2-0) @ Gamblers (3-0-0)

Date: Wednesday, November 13th, 7:55 PM
Location: Home Ice for Gamblers

Matchup Overview:
The undefeated Gamblers (3-0-0) are hosting the scrappy Lumberjacks (1-2-0) in what should be an entertaining and physical showdown. The all-time series tilts in the Gamblers' favor, leading 21-12. Recent history hasn’t been kind to the Lumberjacks either—they last faced the Gamblers on October 16, where they took a 7-3 bruising. The Gamblers have been dominant this season, but the Lumberjacks are looking to throw a wrench in their hot streak.

Last Meeting Recap (October 16):
The Gamblers’ offense was relentless, led by the "Matt the Menace" Marrazzo (3 points) and "Wild Bill" Rivellini. The Gamblers sealed the game with multiple second-period goals and never looked back. The Lumberjacks did show some life, with Neil "Mac Attack" MacKenzie scoring twice, but they’ll need more firepower this time around.

Key Players to Watch:

• Gamblers:
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  • Matt “The Menace” Marrazzo has been on a tear, posting 6 points in three games, while “Wild Bill” Rivellini is averaging 3 points per game.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  • Evan “No-Turnover” Cline, a steady playmaker, has three assists so far.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  • Ryan "Rough Stuff" LaCroix—known more for his time in the penalty box than the scoreboard—will likely bring some physicality.
  
  
  
  
  
  

• Lumberjacks:
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  • Nathan “The Deluge” DeLuca leads the team with 7 points. Known for his relentless forechecking, DeLuca might be the edge the Lumberjacks need.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  • Neil “Mac Attack” MacKenzie had two goals in their last game against the Gamblers. He’s crafty around the net and isn’t afraid to get gritty in front.
  
  
  
  
  
  

Quotes from the “Players”:

• “The Jacks better bring a chainsaw, ‘cause we’re not handing out goals tonight,” laughed Matt “The Menace” Marrazzo after their last practice.

• "Last time, we played more like lumber, less like jacks... we'll be sharper this time,” responded Neil “Mac Attack” MacKenzie, clearly unfazed by Marrazzo’s confidence.

• “Rivellini? That guy’s a sandpaper sandwich with extra grit,” quipped Nathan “The Deluge” DeLuca. “We’re coming prepared.”

Odds & Predictions:

• Moneyline: Gamblers -185, Lumberjacks +150


• Over/Under: 8.5 goals


• Prop Bet: "Matt the Menace" Marrazzo and "Wild Bill" Rivellini each to score 2+ points (+200)

The Gamblers are heavy favorites given their 21-12 series lead and current undefeated record, but the Lumberjacks might be worth a bet for those who like a long shot. The over/under is set at 8.5 goals, and with the Gamblers’ scoring depth and Lumberjacks’ hustle, the over could be in play.

Game Prediction: The Gamblers should have the edge, but the Lumberjacks' resilience may keep it close. Expect the Gamblers to win 6-4 in a high-scoring game, with "The Menace" Marrazzo and "Wild Bill" Rivellini notching multiple points and the Lumberjacks showing plenty of fight. The Lumberjacks' penalty trouble might bite them if "Rough Stuff" LaCroix and friends keep stirring the pot.

The Wild Cards:

• If Neil "Mac Attack" MacKenzie catches fire early, he could shift the momentum.

• "No-Turnover" Cline's calm play might be essential in keeping the Gamblers steady if things get heated.

Final Word:
The Lumberjacks will need every bit of grit, grind, and good fortune to upset the Gamblers, who are primed to extend their winning streak. Will the Lumberjacks chop down the odds, or will the Gamblers play it smart and deal the cards in their favor?

Written by ChatGPT.

Gamblers Flex Muscles, Stay Perfect.

The Gamblers continued to roll this week with a dominant 5-1 Win over the Lumberjacks who fell to 1-3-0 on the season.  A huge night for Topo "Thing 1" LaCroix who netted a pair of unassisted goals to put the game away and added an apple to boot.  His brother Goose "Thing 2" LaCroix netted a goal as well for the brother's hattrick.  Evan "Showtime" Cline was lights out again as he made 31 saves en route to the win.  But the biggest surprise of the night was the Gambler's Zach "The Tinder Swindler" Aher who put up career best 0 goals, 0 assists, 0 points, 2 PIMs and 0 Swipes during the game.  "You know, it was hard, really f*cking hard...but, I'll gladly miss some quality biddies to ensure the G-Men get the win" said Aher with a smirk post game.

The Gambler's got things started, just 75 seconds into the game when Aaron "Damn Man" Damren stormed down the far side and put a hard shot on the Lumberjack's Luke "The Spiceman" McCormick.  Damren picked up his rebound, turned the net and wrapped the puck in....possibly off a defender, possibly off the goalie.  We will never know for sure.   The Jack's Nick "The Stick" Hall had a chance to tie things up shortly after when he found himself in the slot with the puck and did what he does best....missed the f*cking net.  "Wait, you're supposed to try and get the puck in the net?!?!?  No way, I've been playing this game wrong my entire life." Was Hall's response when asked if he'll ever hit the net.

With 6:50 to play in the first, Neil "The Real Deal" MacKenzie's hard drive to the net, saw the puck land on Zach Dayno's stick in the slot, and unlike Nicky Hall, who was in the same location just minutes earlier, Dayno buried the puck just over the glove of Cliner.

Ryan "The Boogeyman" Bergeron showed Hall how to do it, after taking a puck from his goaltender, Showtime Cline, behind his own net, putting it into 2nd gear, the burly Bergeron barreled down the far side, using his deceptively slow slide to trick everyone into thinking he wasn't moving before using his exceptional agility and edgework to cut around the defenseman and roofie McCormick short-side as if he was his prom date.  Sick goal from Bergy.  Fun fact, that was Evan Cline's 4th assist in 4 games this season.  The goalie sits tied for 16th in the UVHL with 4 points.  More points than almost 70 other players in the UVHL and exactly 4 more points than the Whaler's Kelly "Zero Points" Park. 

In the final minute of play, Alex Brands found himself alone to the left of Cline alone, with the puck and a wide open net...yup he missed.  That one is gonna haunt him for life.

The Lumberjacks are quickly becoming the whiniest team in the UVHL, complaining about every call, every non-call and I'm sure about the temperature, or humidity, lack of music, paint color of the rink, flooring, weather, climate change and a slew of other things.  A few warnings were given out by the referees.

END OF THE FIRST: Gamblers 2, Lumberjacks 1

The LaCroix brothers put the game out fo reach in the first 2:40 of the second.  Goose LaCroix put home a sick rebound just 40 seconds in after defenseman Sean "Copland" Collins toe-dragged Scotty "No Defensey" Shaw at the point and walked into the high slot.  McCormick made the quick blocker save, even directing the rebound to the corner but Goose was there to chip the loose puck over the Spiceman for the 3-1 lead.  At 12:20, Lumberjack's captain, GM & massage therapist Jay "The Pizzaman" Zanleoni put some pepperoni on his pizza right up the middle to Topo LaCroix who took two hard strides into the slot and beat McCormick blocker side.  OUCH.  4-1 Gamblers.

END OF THE SECOND: Gamblers, 4, Lumberjacks 1

There was only one goal scored in the third period when Topo LaCroix chipped a puck past a Lumberjack's defenseman and attacked with numbers.  LaCroix held onto the puck and beat McCormick blocker side.  

McCormick had to make a handful of big saves to close out the game and ended with 35 saves in the match.  His counterpart, Cline, was outstanding, earning another Player of the Week nod.

END OF REGULATION: Gamblers 5, Lumberjacks 1