UPPER VALLEY HOCKEY LEAGUE

Semi-Final Shock: #3 Whalers Upset #2 Lumberjacks

In a wild, outlandish display of mischief and mayhem, the Whalers pulled off an upset over the Lumberjacks in a semi-final game that had more twists than a pretzel factory. With key Whalers’ players missing – including star netminder Jered “J-Rod” Condon, first-line center Ezra “Big Talk” Mock, second-line winger James McCormick, and defenseman Scotty “Too Hotty” Christian – and the Lumberjacks shorn of some of their depth, the ice became a stage for epic heroics and outrageous antics.

First Period: Whalers Take Flight

At 13:38, Ean Small slalomed in the near corner, curling a shot high to beat Lumberjacks’ goalie McCormick low glove side – leaving the defense scratching their heads.

Barely 96 seconds later, after a slick turnover, the Whalers’ own Colston Allen collected a perfectly placed pass and fired a missile low glove side to double the lead.

Not to be outdone, the Lumberjacks responded at 7:27 when Dillan Pierce intercepted an errant pass from Small. He set up Nathan DeLuca, who combined with Neil “The Real Deal” MacKenzie to carve one into the net – with MacKenzie cheekily declaring, “Shooters gotta shoot!”

Then, at 0:35, the Whalers struck again. Off a face-off to McCormick’s right, Small found Aidan Boonyaharn, who fed the puck to Jason “Yahoo” Yehle. A lightning-fast one-timer blasted the puck through McCormick’s 5-hole, making it 3-2 in favor of the Whalers. (Whalers: 20 shots; Lumberjacks: 7)

Second Period: Tic-Tac-Toe and Tempers

At 12:20, the Whalers extended their lead to 4-1 with a dazzling “tic-tac-toe” play. Russell “Rusty” Teller scooped the puck from deep and slid it over to Dan VeNard in the neutral zone. VeNard, speeding into the offensive zone, dropped the puck to his own teammate after a brief moment of hesitation. Nate “The Great” Robinson then set up Ben “The Ginger King” Rouillard, whose tap-in left Lumberjacks’ goalie McCormick looking a little too shell-shocked. Rouillard couldn’t resist exclaiming, “I reign supreme on the ice!”

The Lumberjacks tried to answer when Pierce sent DeLuca in on a break against Whalers’ stand-in netminder Colin Farr, but his fancy forehand-to-backhand move just wasn’t enough.

Chaos ensued with 6:03 left when Lumberjacks’ GM/Captain/Team Masseuse Jay “The Zamboni” Zanleoni lost his cool and took a double minor for unsportsmanlike conduct. (Sometimes refs just don’t get it!)

Then, at 4:38, the Whalers capitalized on a 5-on-3 advantage. A slick pass from Kelly Park sent the puck cascading down to Small, who found Rouillard for a quick rip through the 5-hole. Meanwhile, the Lumberjacks’ goalie got so riled up he even muttered, “Grow a pair of balls!” – a comment that earned them another unsportsmanlike penalty.

The second period closed with the Whalers up 5-1. (Shots: Whalers 16, Lumberjacks 4)

Third Period: Final Flourishes and Fisticuffs

The third period opened with a bang at 7:58 when Russell Teller did “a Rusty Teller thing” – picking up a stray puck in his own end, racing up the ice, and unleashing a wrist shot high to the blocker side for his first goal of the year. “I do it for the glory…and the ice cream!” he joked afterward.

At 7:20, Lumberjacks briefly clawed back when Greg “The Butcher of Guelph” Marsh received a cross-ice feed, danced around Whalers’ enforcer Bentley “Boomtown” Boonyaharn, and beat Colin Farr with a spectacular 5-hole finish – a goal that had the crowd roaring.

Not to be outdone, Lumberjacks’ Andrew Kimbell later picked up a loose puck from a failed clearing attempt and fired a one-timer right into MacKenzie’s wheelhouse – a shot so sharp it had fans exclaiming “BOOM!”

A tripping penalty on Jason “Yahoo” Yehle with 2:49 left gave the Lumberjacks a glimmer of hope, but the Whalers shut the door on any comeback.

Final Recap

The final score? A stunning Whalers 6, Lumberjacks 3. With this upset, the Whalers now punch their ticket to the Finals, where they’ll face off against #4 Tuck on Wednesday, March 5th, 2025. In a tournament already brimming with jaw-dropping moments, this game will surely be remembered as one of the wildest rides in UVHL playoff history.