UPPER VALLEY HOCKEY LEAGUE

A Rivalry Renewed: An Emotional Dumpster Fire Waiting to Happen

ODDS:	Lumberjacks By 2
OVER/UNDER:	8.5 Goals

Pre-Game Report: Lumberjacks (4-3-0) @ Whalers (3-3-0)

When these two teams meet, you don’t need popcorn—you need riot gear. Despite the Whalers holding a 3-2 record this season, they’ve historically been absolutely clobbered by the Lumberjacks, with the Jacks leading the all-time series 25-7. If that stat isn’t insulting enough, the last time these teams met, the Lumberjacks erased a 3-0 deficit to drop an eight-goal bomb on the Whalers’ heads and skate away with a humiliating 9-5 victory.

 
Keys to the Game

For the Whalers:
Stay Awake for 60 Minutes: Last time, the Whalers looked sharp for about 10 minutes, then melted like a Dairy Queen cone on asphalt.
Condon Redemption Tour: Jered “The Condor” Condon was last seen curled into the fetal position after letting in nine goals. If he wants to maintain his reputation as a beer-league Martin Brodeur, tonight’s the night to show up.
Stop the Dayno-DeLuca-MacKenzie Line: The Lumberjacks’ top line has combined for 40 points so far this season. That’s more points than Ean Small has excuses for missed passes.
 
For the Lumberjacks:
Keep It Simple: If the Whalers hand out turnovers like Oprah handing out free cars, the Lumberjacks just need to cash in. “You get a goal! You get a goal! Everyone gets a goal!”
MacKenzie Magic: Neil “The Real Deal” MacKenzie is sitting second in the league with 13 points in six games. He’s like a wizard with a hockey stick, and the Whalers’ defense will need a miracle to stop him.
Cut the Chirps: The Lumberjacks’ whining is legendary. Last game, the refs issued warnings when someone on the Jacks’ bench complained about the paint color on the arena walls. Save the chirps for when you’re up six goals.
 
Players to Watch

Whalers:

• Ben “The Rou-ster” Rouillard (9 Points): A one-man wrecking crew, Rouillard leads the Whalers in scoring. If he doesn’t show up tonight, it’s going to be a long game.


• Ezra “The Mutant” Mock (8 Points): This kid has been electric, but rumor has it he’s been moonlighting as a plow operator. Hopefully, he saved some energy for the rink.


• Dan “The Man” Fenton (8 Points): The hat trick hero from last time has the talent to lead this team—when he isn’t forgetting his defensive responsibilities and skating backwards into Condon.

Lumberjacks:

• Nathan “The Deluge” DeLuca (16 Points): DeLuca isn’t just leading the league in scoring—he’s absolutely embarrassing opponents. Whalers beware: leave him open, and he’ll make you cry.


• Neil “Mac Attack” MacKenzie (13 Points): MacKenzie’s no-look passes should be illegal. Someone send him to the Department of Homeland Security.

Zach “Dangerous” Dayno (11 Points): With silky hands and a tendency to show up when it matters most, Dayno is a silent assassin.
 
Quotes from Around the League

• Jered Condon (Whalers Goalie): “I’m still having nightmares about the last game. I’ve seen fewer pucks in a Pinball Machine.”


• Neil MacKenzie (Lumberjacks): “We don’t care about their excuses. We’re coming for the W, and maybe a couple of beers after.”


• Dan Fenton (Whalers): “We’ve got their number… except it’s written in crayon and upside-down. But still, we’ve got it.”


• Luke McCormick (Lumberjacks Goalie): “If I can stop the LaCroix brothers, I can stop anyone. Bring it on.”

Prediction and Prop Bets

• Moneyline: Lumberjacks -120


• Over/Under: 8.5 goals (Take the Over—defense will be optional).


• Prop Bets:
  
  
  
  • DeLuca to record a hat trick (+300)
  
  
  • Rouillard to get 2+ points (+200)
  
  
  • Condon to throw a water bottle in frustration (+500)
     
  
  
  
  

Final Prediction

The Lumberjacks are rolling into this game with swagger, while the Whalers are still licking their wounds from the last beatdown. That said, the Whalers have home ice and a new sense of desperation after that 9-5 meltdown. Expect this game to be wild, high-scoring, and absolutely ridiculous.

Final Score Prediction: Lumberjacks 6, Whalers 4
Three Stars:

• Nathan “The Deluge” DeLuca


• Ben “The Rou-ster” Rouillard


• Neil “Mac Attack” MacKenzie
   

Final Word

This one has “barn burner” written all over it, folks. Will the Whalers finally put together a complete game, or will the Lumberjacks continue to dance on their graves? Grab your popcorn, strap on your helmets, and get ready for a beauty.

Puck Drop: Wednesday, 7:55 PM.

Spoiler Alert: Somebody’s going to lose, and we’re all here for the drama.

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Team:	Time:	Type:	Player:	Details:
1st PERIOD
LMJ	08:54	Goal	DeLuca, Nathan(13)	Assist(s): Dayno, Zachary(7) Pierce, Dillan (2)
WHL	05:30	Goal	Mock, Ezra(6)	Assist(s): Rouillard, Ben (7) Small, Ean(7)
WHL	04:47	Goal	Small, Ean(6)	Assist(s): Rouillard, Ben (8) McCormick, James(1)
LMJ	00:05	Goal	Marsh, Greg(3)	Assist(s): McGee, Will(1) Hall, Nick(3)
2nd PERIOD
LMJ	12:29	Goal	DeLuca, Nathan(14)	Assist(s): Dayno, Zachary(8)
LMJ	06:47	Goal	DeLuca, Nathan(15)	Assist(s): MacKenzie, Neil(10) Dayno, Zachary(9)
LMJ	05:38	Goal	Park, Lochlan(1)	Assist(s): none
WHL	01:55	Goal	Robinson, Nate(2)	Assist(s): McCormick, James(2) Fenton, Dan(6)
3rd PERIOD
WHL	05:39	Penalty	allen, colston (1)	2 minutes for Holding
LMJ	00:39	Goal	DeLuca, Nathan(16)	Assist(s): MacKenzie, Neil(11)

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