UPPER VALLEY HOCKEY LEAGUE

Lumberjacks look to Rebound against Lowly Whalers

The first game of week 9 in the UVHL, features the  basement dwelling Whalers(0-5-1) and Lumberjacks(4-3-0).  The Jacks have been chronically shorthanded this season with an inconsistent roster and lineup each week.  Gripes about playing time and too many players on their roster has plagued them and affected their performance.  Captain Jay "The Zamboni" Zanleoni took his team on a retreat over this past weekend to work on communication, anger management and team back massages.  "I have a feeling we're ready to play Tuesday night" said Zamboni, "Our guys are much more relaxed."

The Whalers on the other hand have been playing too relaxed, to the point that they're reminiscent of a Walking Dead Spinoff.  Turrnovers, lack of defense and leaky goaltending was the norm for the Whale until last week when they put in an A+ effort in a 4-3 shootout loss to the Gamblers.  

Historically the Lumberjacks have absolutely throttled the Whalers, taking 22 of 25 games since 2014.  Their first bout this season was a 5-3 win three weeks ago for the Lumberjacks who only fielded 8 skaters and were missing their sparkplugs; Zanleoni and Jordy "McBreakaway" McGee.

If the Whalers play the same game as last week, this should be a competitive game, although the Whale will be without their backstopper; Tucker "Little Sexy" Garrity-Hanchett.  Filling in will be Harris "Little Sexy" LaRock, who has put together an impressive 2-1-0 record as a league-wide alternate.

Offensively, the Lumberjacks only have one player in the top 10 in points, Patrick "McBarDown" McDonough.  McBarDown is 5th in the league with 12 points in 7 games.  The Whalers don't have a single player in the top 26, but sitting in 27th is Nate "The Great" Robinson with 5 points in 6 games. Robinson has made it known to everyone in the upper valley that he is leading the lowly Whalers in points this season.  A feat that is the equivalent of being the smartest kid in Special Ed.

VEGAS thinks that this will be a close game.  Possibly another 5-3 win for the Lumberjacks.  

Lumberjacks Chop Down Whalers.....Again.

A new week in the UVHL, the same old Whalers.  Mental mistakes and a lack of grit continues to plague the Whalers who were not equipped to handle a fast and skilled Lumbejacks squad.  The Lumberjacks had their Angry Irish line back together for the first time in weeks.  The line of Jordy McGee, Neil MacKenzie  & Patrick McDonough haven't all been on the ice together due to a local potato famine, a mandatory St. Patrick's Day Party Planning Meeting and a rollover of a Guinness truck last week that left 89 North covered in cases and cases of beer.

The Potato line was on fire, scoring 4 goals and 9 points in this one.  They started the scoring on the night and ended it with an empty netter.

The Whalers were without their regular goaltender, Tucker "Little Sexy" Garrity-Hanchett and needed to call up his arch-nemesis Harris "Big Sexy" LaRock to play goal.  LaRock was solid in this one, turning away 30 of 34 shots.  His counterpart,  Ryan "Less Sexy" Libbey, was outstanding as he stopped 33 of 35 en route to his fourth win of the season.

The Jacks opened the scoring in the first minute of play with exceptional puck movement.  McD hit MacK entering the Whaler's zone and then fed McG in the high slot.  Some poor backchecking by the Whaler's Scotty "Too Hotty" Christian, gave McGee ample time to beat LaRock top corner, where mama keeps the cookies.

McGee set up the second goal by curling the Whaler's goal and feeding Marc "The Narc" Gattie at the right point.  Gattie one-timed a BOMB glove side that LaRock had no chance on.  A missile...send Gattie to the NHL skills competition, had to be 108MPH.  2-0 Lumberjacks with 7 minutes to play in the first.

Libbey had to be big in the first period, making 10 saves...the biggest coming with 5 minutes to go with a huge breakaway stop on James "McBreakaway" McCormick, shutting the door and keeping the Whale off the board.  Despite the score, the Whalers carried play for much of the first period.

END OF THE FIRST: Lumberjacks 2, Whalers 0.  SAVES: Libbey 10, LaRock 5

The ice shifted in the second period as the Jacks dominated possession time and put 17 shots on LaRock who kept his team in this one.  The Whalers were skating up hill, but still managed to get on the board first on a Boonyaharn Brothers connection.  Aiden Boonyharn picked up a puck in the neutral zone and flipped a pass over a Jack's defender to his brother Bentley Boonyaharn.  Bentley went in all alone, and fired a quick wrist shot on Libbey who made the save but couldn't Boonyaharn from jamming home the rebound.

The Jacks turned this up after that goal, peppering LaRock and finally breaking through with 2:39  to go in the second period.  McDonough started the play with a smart dump in to the far corner where  Anderson Harris got to the puck first.  Harris curled from behind the net and found McGee backdoor for his second goal of the game.  3-1 Lumberjacks.

END OF THE SECOND: Lumberjacks 3, Whalers 1.  SAVES: Libbey 18, LaRock 21

The ice tilted again in the third as the Whalers went into panic mode and fired everything they could at Libbey.  Just over six minutes in the Whaler's Chris Inserra picked up a loose puck in the neutral zone and turned a flatfooted Lumberjacks defender, cut to his forehand, back to his backhand and jammed it home past Libbey.   The Whalers continued to press and Libbey stood tall, well...taller than normal.

With 1:17 to play, the Whaler's had an epic brain fart on a 1 v 4 in their own zone.  All four Whalers players watched MacKenzie get the puck in the far corner.  MacKenzie pulled all four of them in before hitting  McDonough coming in the zone on the near side.  Great pass and McDonough finished with a quick shot to beat Big Sexy low glove side.   That one hurt...and not the good type of hurt, like a real bad, stabbed in your anus type of hurt.

McDonough added an empty netter with 42 seconds to play, but the game was already over.  
The only high point for the Whalers was that they kept Jay "Zamboni" Zanleoni off the scoresheet.  Take that Big Z!

FINAL: Lumberjacks 5, Whalers 2.  SAVES: Libbey(Lumberjacks) 33, LaRock(Whalers) 30