UPPER VALLEY HOCKEY LEAGUE

ODDS:
OVER/UNDER:

Can the Gamblers keep up their hot streak? Can the Nordiques bring back their stellar play that started their season 4-0-2? I have no idea how this season is going to go, but it will be an interesting one. Look for the Gambler's Willy "Weeble Wobble" Meyer to fire everything low at the net and crash for his own rebound. Back in town for the Gambler's is J-Red "The Condor" Condon who had a brief stint in the minor leagues, playing for the Puerto Rico Polar Bears.

You can't bet against the Gamblers in this one, 5-4 win for the G-men.

Nordiques upend top dog Gamblers, 6-3

The Gamblers(9-3-1) brought their 9 game winning streak to Union Arena tonight, and left with shame & disappointment as the Nordiques(8-2-3) jumped out to an early lead on the COCKY Gambler squad. Back in net for the G-Spot Men was J-Red "Cough It Up" Condon who had two disastrous turnovers early in the game to put the Nordiques up 2-0. Condon has spent the last month in the minor leagues playing for the Honolulu Ice Turkey's as a 6th string pipe protector and you could tell he wasn't ready for the return trip to the big leagues. The Nordiques were hungry & angry after dropping a disappointing 6-5 shootout loss to the lowly Tuck Turduckens. The Nords were powered by "The Pooch" Andy Puchilak who has successfully made the move from defense to forward and contributed with two HUGE goals late in the game and an assist.

There were some other people that we would like to make some derogatory remarks about......first, Willy "Weeble Wobble" Meyer is a miserable man when losing. Despite having the top team in the UVHL and winning 9 in a row, you couldn't get a smile out of that angry little dwarf. Secondly, the Nordiques Tao "Smooches" Smith did NOT blow any kisses to his girlfriend in the stands, but he did go over and tongue kiss the glass. Third, the Gambler's Joey McIntyre confessed his man-love for fellow New Kids On the Block bandmates Jordan Knight & Donnie Walberg. Fourth, McDermott is now on a low fat diet that consists of buffalo wings dipped in low fat yogurt & lite Ranch dressing. Fourth, Gregory "The Gentle Giant" Marsh plays like a teddy bear out there, with only 2 PIMs on the season. The last note is a controversial one, and should be kept within the UVHL, but the Gambler's Matty "The Milkman" Marrazzo was only delivering Skim Milk tonight. Yes, you heard it from me, Marrazzo was serving watered down skim milk.

The Nordiques came out with bad intentions on their mind as previously stated and forechecked like rabid dogs, causing J-Red to turn the puck over twice in a 22 second span, both leading to goals. The first came at 9:31 when "Captain Turnover" fired a puck right into Jordan "McNasty" McGee, who in turn put it into the empty net. Condon had it stuck in his head that he should actually play the puck as again he turned the puck over to McGee behind the net, McGee then quickly fired a pass to Ian "The Toothless Puck Shark" Coates for ANOTHER empty netter. The Gamblers reeled things in a bit for the remainder of the period when Tao "Captain Turnover" Smith fired a dribbler five-hole through Condon's shaky legs and 1:31 to play. Smith's goal was assisted by THA POOCH.

END OF THE FIRST: Gamblers ZERO, Nordiques 3

The Gamblers straightened out their ship with back to back goals, the first coming when Kevin 'The Guillotine" Guilbault split the Nordique's defenseman with a 100 foot pass right up the gut. Shawn "Super Size Me" McDermott made a last dish effort and DOVE trying to get a piece of Willy "The Angry Dwarf" Meyer, but landed with a glass shaking THUD and crackle of the glass. The shockwave of McDermott sent Meyer into 5th gear as he approached Turner at near supersonic speed and beat him with a quick snapper just over the pad stick side. That goal came at 8:24 of the 2nd period and the Gamblers pressed for the next minute until "Rolls" Royce Lawrence took a Joey "You Got The Right Stuff" McIntyre pass and blasted a slapshot off the post and in on Turner with 7:06 to play. All of a sudden, a comfortable 3-0 lead for the Nordiques dwindled to a scary 1 goal lead. The Gambler's looked poised for the big come back, until Gregory "The Butcher of Guelph" Marsh found Jordan "McLovin' " McGee streaking up the middle. McGee was in all alone, threw a shake-n-bake at Condon who went down fast than a 3-legged Tranny in Windsor. McGee snapped a wicked shot where the cookies were hiding.......top shelf GLOVE SIDE at 5:52. The Nordiques continued to press, and the hardest working man in hockey biz, Andy "The Poochie" Puchilak put the Nords up a very comfortable 5-2 as he found his own rebound in the slot.

END OF THE SECOND: Gamblers 2, Nordiques 5

The Nordiques were vey wary of the explosive nature of both the Gamblers Offense & McDermotts ass, and planned on keeping the pressure on both, but McDermotts ass took duct tape & some cotton balls. The Poochie tallied another goal as he fought through a couple of checks on the far boards and then beat Condon with a quick shot through a screen at 12:43. The Nordiques, up 6-2 continued to play hard, and shut down the Gamblers at every turn, backed by some excellent play from Johnny "Temper Tantrum" Turner. The play, for the most part was back and forth until the Nordiques were caught in an excessively long shift, and the top line of the Gamblers worked the puck around the offensive end like NHLers. That long shift, coupled with the excellent puck movement turned into 7 shots on net, before Turner two pad stacked Meyer in the slot. About 8 bodies converged on the high slot, but the puck found it's way onto the stick of Dan "Animal" Ammel who made a deposit of one goal into Turner's empty slot and under a minute to play. The last minute goals wasn't enough, as the Nordiques slowed things down for the last 58 seconds and went home with the win. Willy Meyer went to the corner to cry.

 

Team:	Time:	Type:	Player:	Details:
1st PERIOD
NDQ	09:31	Goal	McGee, Jordan(11)	Assist(s): none
NDQ	09:09	Goal	Coates, Ian(9)	Assist(s): McGee, Jordan(16)
NDQ	01:31	Goal	Smith, Tao(6)	Assist(s): Puchalik, Andrew(2)
2nd PERIOD
NDQ	13:32	Penalty	Dakai, Tom(2)	2 minutes for Tripping
GMB	08:24	Goal	Meyer, Will(23)	Assist(s): Gilbault, Kevin(9) Ammel, Robert(16)
GMB	07:06	Goal	Lawrence, Royce(5)	Assist(s): McIntyre, Joe(13)
NDQ	05:52	Goal	McGee, Jordan(12)	Assist(s): Marsh, Greg(12) Coates, Ian(16)
NDQ	02:05	Goal	Puchalik, Andrew(2)	Assist(s): Smith, Tao(7) Jodice, Daniel(4)
3rd PERIOD
NDQ	12:43	Goal	Puchalik, Andrew(3)	Assist(s): Jodice, Daniel(5)
GMB	11:29	Penalty	Harrington, Mike(1)	2 minutes for Tripping
GMB	00:58	Goal	Ammel, Robert(10)	Assist(s): McIntyre, Joe(14) Meyer, Will(10)

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Game Comments:
goaliem31 Cornish, NH Registered: Posts: 63	get your shit together Park!! Jan 20th, 2009 11:21 AM it seems to be an odd patern when the Gamblers play the Nords... the pre game write ups either never get posted or they are one sentance long... come on park...
The Dark Canuck Fairlee, VT Registered: Dec 2004 Posts: 340	Park, wow! Jan 23rd, 2009 06:01 PM Honestly dude, that MAY have been the funniest write-up I have ever read. The part about the Honolulu Ice Turkeys, LMFAO, 6th string? wow, pure comedic genius! And Tao Tongue-kissing the glass was hilarious. I can actually visualize your head getting bigger and bigger, so I'll shut up now. Anyhoo, nice job KP. Can't wait for the Kingers next Tues.!
hkydoc WRJ, VT Registered: Jan 2004 Posts: 517	Finish the write-up already! Jan 26th, 2009 12:28 AM C'mon, Park! Fans wanna know! Stop leaving us hanging, eh! You've only got two to do this week anyway, so get off your ass!