UPPER VALLEY HOCKEY LEAGUE

ODDS:	Storm Kings by 42 goals
OVER/UNDER:	43.5 goals

Yes, I did in fact pick the Storm Kings to win by 42 goals, with an over / under of 43.5. My prediction for tonight is Storm Kings 42, Nordicks 2. After seeing the despicable effort that the NorLeafs put forward last week, I am embarrassed to step on the ice. Turner was OWNED BY Mullins(7 goals, 1 assist) and peed his jock on 3 occasions facing him. The defense didn't do much besides spinning in circles & the offense was non-existing in their Mud league opening 9-2 loss.

The Storm Kings were solid against a good Potter team. They capitalized early on Potter turnovers and then put it in cruise control to hang on for a 5-4 win. "Tiny" Timmy Leroy led the way with 2 goals and an assist while Dan French "Fries" turned away 30 shots in the 5-4 win.

Unless the NorLeafs (Nordiques & Leafs) clean up their game, in all 3 zones, they should get demolished by the current UVHL Co-Champions.

The Nordiques EMBARRASS themselves against 5 Kingers in 3-2 loss.

What do you call a team that can NOT beat another team of just 5 players? Pathetic? An Embarrassment? A bunch of retards? I think all of those are very good descriptors of the NorLeafs squad, as they proceeded to loose a 3-2 battle against the Storm Kings who didn't have a sub. In all reality, unless this was just a really really bad dream, can you NOT score more than 2 goals against a team of just 5 guys who are exhuasted and have a stand up goalie that is older than the sport itself? HOw do you get OUT-FRICKIN-SHOT 42 - 21 by a team with 2 goons that took 6 penalties on the night?

These are all excellent questions, and the answer to all of them would be......Have faith....the NorLeafs can. Apparently by taking on the Maple Leafs players, the Nordiques have succumbed to the dismal play that is typical of the Smurf Squad. I am utterly embarrassed and am having trouble writing this.

So how did it all happen on this frigid March evening? Well, I'll tell you. The NorLeafs suck donkey balls for starters. I mean how can you be successful if you have both Sean "Smurfette" Casavant & Shawn "Earthquake" McDermott on the same team? You just can't. Well, enough fo my bitching, and I have to give some credit to the Fab-Five Storm Kingers.....well Six including their stud goaltender Dan "The Man" French. The five skaters that did show up were the terrible twosome on defense, Artie "Slash" Stout & Tommy "Hook" Scull. The forwards were "Mean" Dean Cashman, "Flying" Dave Fitzgerald & Ian "The Fish" Gill.

The Kingers entered the ice surface on Saturday night with a short bench....obviously, and even turned down some non-Kingers who were willing to stay for an extra game. Was this a hockey "snob" move or were they just that arrogant to think that they could "handle" the NorLeafs with only 5 guys? Probably a little bit of both, but they did exactly that and more. The Kingers are an EXCELLENT puck control team that can control the speed and intensity of the game. The Kingers even seemed to be taking strategic penalties, giving them the ability to ice the puck when they were tired and resting up the men in the box.

The Nordiques, without regular netminder Johnny "Trans-Fat" Turner had a local filling the pipes in Jared "the Condor" Condon. Condon was SPECTACULAR as he turned away 42 shots on the night even though he took the loss. If it wasn't for the spectacular play by Condon, this could easily have been REALLY ugly for the Nordiques.

On the other hand the NorLeafs tended to chase the puck, tiring themselves out and limitiing their offensive opportunities, but when they did get down into the Kinger's end, they were continually shut down by the STELLAR play of Dan "the Man" French.

The first period was a wash as both teams were feeling each other out. The only notables were 3 penalties taken by the Kigers.......I'll give you 1 guess who took those penalties....yes, you are correct, it was Tommy "Interference" Scull (1 penalty) & Artie "the Cross Check" Stout (2 penalties).

END OF THE FIRST: Storm Kings 0, NorLeafs SUCK

The Nordiques did finally break through on the Frenchman as Ian "Golden Boy" Coates took a loose puck and beat Frenchy with a quick move to his backhand just 31 seconds into the period. It took another 10 minutes for the NorLeafs to notch another goal, when Kelly "The Ankle Bender" Park chipped a puck past Fitzgerald and fed Greg "Lurch" Marsh across the crease on a 2 on 0. Marsh took the shitty, bouncy pass from Park and chipped it up under the arm of French with 4:13 to go in the 2nd. Things were looking up for the NorLeafs as they seemed to be getting more chances, but the Kingers found their second wind and began to dominate. The Kinger's bounced back with Park in the box for a WEAK hook / dive on Arthur Stout. Scully found a rebound along the goal line and chipped it past a diving Condon to cut the lead in half.

END OF THE SECOND: NorLeafs 2, Storm Kings 1

The Kingers began to pounce in the 3rd, peppering Condon with another 11 shots on their way to 42 for the evening. One notable would be that Park re-injured his knee at the 12 minute mark of the 3rd as he jumped over the boards and into the bench on a line change. Just another embarrassing note on the night. The Storm Kings tied up the game with 8:19 to go when Condon tried to cover a loose puck that came off the backboards from a point shot. He gathered the puck and was slow getting the glove down on top of it when Ian "Gilligan" Gill jammed the puck under the netminder. Less than two minutes later Tommy "Guns" Scull......again for some reason down behind the net.....pulled a puck from behind the net and wrapped it around through the five-hole of Condon who was sliding across the crease to cover the post. I'd also like to mention that Casavant was down behind the net and looked like a mosquito trying to defend against the much taller, stronger and better looking Scull. That didn't work out very well for Casavant....or the NorLeafs for that matter.

The remainder of the period was PURE brilliance as the Storm Kings put the breaks on and held a nice game of keep away from the NorLeafs who ran around like little kids trying to get a ball away from their big brothers who were taller, stronger and smarter.

END OF REGULATION: NorLeafs SUCK(2), Storm Kings 3

 

Team:	Time:	Type:	Player:	Details:
1st PERIOD
STK	09:42	Penalty	Scull, Tom(2)	2 minutes for Interference
STK	08:45	Penalty	Stout, Artie(2)	2 minutes for Cross Checking
STK	04:35	Penalty	Stout, Artie(3)	2 minutes for Holding
2nd PERIOD
NDQ	14:25	Goal	Coates, Ian(1)	Assist(s): none
NDQ	12:44	Penalty	Gattie, Eric(1)	2 minutes for Too Many Men
STK	10:36	Penalty	Cashman, Dean(1)	2 minutes for Hooking
NDQ	07:57	Penalty	Gattie, Eric(2)	2 minutes for Interference
NDQ	04:13	Goal	Marsh, Greg(1)	Assist(s): Park, Kelly(1)
NDQ	03:03	Penalty	Park, Kelly(1)	2 minutes for Hooking
STK	02:37	Goal	Scull, Tom(1)	Assist(s): Cashman, Dean(1) Fitzgerald, Mike(2)
STK	02:01	Penalty	Scull, Tom(3)	2 minutes for Tripping
3rd PERIOD
STK	08:14	Goal	Gill, Ian(2)	Assist(s): Fitzgerald, Mike(3) Scull, Tom(1)
STK	06:38	Goal	Scull, Tom(2)	Assist(s): none
NDQ	03:12	Penalty	Smith, Tao(1)	2 minutes for Interference
STK	02:54	Penalty	Stout, Artie(4)	2 minutes for Holding

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Game Comments:

hkydoc WRJ, VT Registered: Jan 2004 Posts: 517

Storm Kings best with short bench... Mar 23rd, 2008 10:28 AM Wow, what a game, what a travesty for the NorLeafs. Up 2-0 by virtue of the heriocs of Jared Condon in net, the NorLeafs squandered the lead and gave up 3 late unanswered goals to fall to a short Storm Kings bench with only 5, count 'em five, skaters who played the entire game against 9 NorLeafs. It did get chipphy, but it was good old-time hockey, and we all shook hands afterwards. Kelly Park re-injured his knee hopping the boards awkwardly, and he strained his pussy at the same time catching it on the edge. Post-game at Murphy's was solid with a strong contingent of NorLeafs, ValleyCats, double wings and fromage bleu! I can't wait until Tuesday... Congrats Kingers on a solid win.