THE

UPPER VALLEY HOCKEY LEAGUE

Lumberjacks
Tuck
1st
1
3
2rd
0
3
3rd
0
1
FINAL
1
7
Shots
19
43
November 1st, 2023 - 9:20PM
WABA - White River Junction, VT
Pre-Game
Recap
Box Score
Discussion
Game ID: 1450

Lumberjacks beg for running time in 7-1 loss to Tuck

VIDEO RECAP


Every so often does a UVHL team show up, bring nothing to the table and then ask for running time.  Let it be known on November 1st, 2023, that the Lumberjacks were that team.  It was 6-1 after two long periods of the Tuck Wild Turduckens absolutely dismantling and embarrassing the Lumberjacks.  In their defense, they may have had to get up early the next day, or they may have been involved in some sort of Team Speed Dating event, but I would like to point out that the Whalers, under my watch, have never requested running time.


Truth be told, the Lumberjacks came out with a little hop.  Outskating the Tuckies in the first couple of minutes.  Jordy "McBreakaway" McGee dangled a Tuck defenseman to get in all alone with Matt "The Wall" Betten, only to be stuffed by the Tuck netminder.  That was followed by Tim "General" Patton tipping in an Evan "Almighty" Seely point shot to take a 1-0 lead just 3:46 into the game.  

That was about as good as the night was going to get for the Whalers...I mean Lumberjacks.  Tuck scored on the the next shift...game over, thanks for reading.  See you next week.

In all reality, Tuck's top line took over yet again, potting 5 goals and 12 points.  Jon "Dangles" Carkeek, Aidan "Rocky" Balboni and Luke "Golden" Stickle were outstanding yet again.  Carkeek started the scoring at 10:40 with an absolutely ridiculous goal as he dangled through 4 Lumberjacks into the slot and beat Ryan "The Liability" Libbey on the backhand.  The most amazing part of that video is how the Lumberjack's Nicky "Never Gonna Be in the" Hall turned his back on Carkeek to take someone going far post who was already covered, allowing Carkeek to carry the puck right into the slot.  Libbey showed GREAT restraint in not slashing the shit out of his team right then in there.

Libbey made a handful of outstanding saves in this one, including a diving paddle save on Stickle who had an open net just a few minutes later.  

Tuck got some secondary scoring tonight from Matthew "Roullette" Ouellette who spun the wheel and jammed home his own rebound halfway through the first.  "Always bet on Black" said Ouellete would add a second goal in the third. (Tuck was wearing black tonight)

Stickle would finally break through after numerous chances after picking off a horrible Lumberjack's pass through the slot.  A quick give-and-go with Carkeek saw Libbey tear every muscle in his lower body before Stickle deposited the puck in the empty net.  What a horrible fucking turnover.


END OF THE FIRST: Tuck leads 3-1.  SHOTS: Tuck 14, Lumberjacks 4

The second period was more of the same for Tuck, and even worse for the Lumberjacks.  Stickle and Carkeek were on another planet, and some believe they have developed some sort of new aged Telepathy and are possibly combining that with some sort of steroid or HGH.


Carkeek assisted on a pair of goals to Stickle, finding him in the slot all alone before Stickle returned the favor, feathering a pass down low to Carkeek who beat Libbey up high from the low slot.  "What the literal F*CK" recalled Jay "The Zamboni" Zanleoni, who's edges and agility were just like a 1956 zamboni.  "I mean, what are these guys doing in their spare time?  Eating Spinach and running plays in the parking lot?"

END OF THE SECOND: Tuck Leads 6-1, SHOTS: Tuck 29, Lumberjacks 11

The infamous third period.  The Lumberjacks had been beaten down both mentally and physically and essentially threw in the towel...ok, not essentially, literally.  Luckily for them, Tuck got the memo and took their foot off the gas.  The only goal came with 3:47 to play when Ouellette finished a perfect back door pass from Stickle.    

FINAL: Tuck 7-1.  SHOTS: Tuck 43, Lumberjacks 19

It was very unlike the Lumberjacks as they typically play solid hockey, but Tuck did a great job of keeping the big guns contained for the 'Jacks.  Rumor has it that Jordy "McBreakaway" McGee is really struggling with the 25 minute drive from Woodstock and the elevation change in Hartford (+59').

LEAGUE PICK 'EM
 0%
Lumberjacks
0% 
Tuck
PICKS
THREE STARS

Luke Stickel

GOALS: 3
POINTS: 5

Jonathan Carkeek

GOALS: 2
POINTS: 5

Matthew Betten

GA: 1
SAVES: 18
SAVE%: 0.947

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