UPPER VALLEY HOCKEY LEAGUE

Tuck vs Gamblers: Round 3

Last week the Gamblers & Tuck couldn't have had two more opposite games.  The Gamblers throttled the Lumberjacks 12-1 while Tuck lost 4-3 to the last place Mustangs.  In Tuck's defense, they were coming off a long weekend where they hosted a Business School Tournament that saw them play 4 games over the weekend including a 6-5 loss in the championship game to Booth Business School on Sunday morning.  Fatigue, new babies and travel saw their roster depleted, including 3 of their big 4; Luke "The Duke" Stickel, Jon "The Sheikh" Carkeek and Seamus "The Dreamus" O'Neil.

The Mustangs on the other hand were well rested and had nothing to lose as, I believe, they were mathematically eliminated from the playoffs the week before.  

All advanced scouting says that Tuck's roster should be back to 100% as they ramp up to protect the #1 seed heading into the playoffs.  They still have the top 3 point scorers this season in Balboni(29pts), Stickel(27pts) and Carkeek(25pts).  The Gamblers have 3 of the top 7 in #4 Max Woods(20pts), #6 Will Meyer(17pts) & Topo LaCroix(15pts).  

The advantage in net goes to the Gamblers with Evan "Showtime" Cline leading the league in Wins(8), GAA(2.64) & Save Percentage(.913).  Cline has been outstanding, but so has his team's defensive play.  At the other end of the ice Tuck's Matt Betten has been solid, posting a 3.50 gaa & .842 save percentage.  

The Gambler's have been rolling, especially when they have 3 lines.  They're deep, skilled and tenacious.  If Tuck has it's Big 4 available, this will be great game to watch.  Vegas says Tuck wins by 1 Goal.

Gamblers Down Shorthanded Tuck

This game saw one proud Dad in the stands for the game: Luke Deary’s father. I talked to him after the game and he was saying that he played basketball until he was about 50, and that it was a thrill to see his son still playing and enjoying hockey. Tonight’s theme was obviously Family Night as Tucker’s sister was in the stands for the first game sporting a sign. It’s truly nice to see support for our UVHLers in the stands. That makes it extra special, eh.

The first period started with 7 Tuckies and 9 Gamblers. One more showed up for each team eventually, but the number crunch the past two weeks left Tuck outmanned and had impacts on both games. The game saw a heavy number of shots early on with Tuck starting strong outshooting the Gamblers 7-2 at the 10:22 mark. The 8th Tuckie showed up around 4 minutes into the period. Ryan “Goose” LaCroix sent a hard shot just over the glove and net of Marshall in the Tuck net at 9:11. Tuck struck first at 7:05 when Matt “Pinot Grigio” Ouelette scored from someone reported to me as #15 and Luke “Stickel With The Pointy End”. Don’t worry… Parky will sniff out who got the 1st assist on Live Barn like that hockey whore always does. The 10th Gambler arrived at the bench and it was officially a 10-on-8 battle. Mikey “It’s Long” Yablong fed Matt “Dr. 70’s Porn Stache” Goff who hit the post behind Cline in the Gamblers’ net at 3:32. The brothers LaCroix combined for a scoring chance ending in a missed net by the elder Goose. There was a good pace to this game and it was becoming a real chess match with good back and forth play. Gamblers captain Will Meyer made a fantastic backcheck keeping up with Seamus “The Dreamus” O’Neill stride for stride. There’s probably a 15-year age difference there, and Meyer still makes it look easy, although he IS much more sore in the morning compared to his younger opponents nowadays. Tuck made a great tip at 1:54 on a goal by Nick “Bear Hug” Sullivan from “Dr. 70’s Porn Stache” Goff only to be answered by the Gamblers 9 seconds later at 1:45 with Goose LaCroix making good on a sweet pass from his brother Topo (fucking finally!) to make it 2-1 Tuck. Shots finished 13-11 in Tuck’s favor at period’s end.

In the 2nd, the first SOG found it’s way into Tuck’s net at 13:02 when Max “White Tiger” Woods received a great pass from Matt “The Italian Stallion” Marazzo after Marazzo made a great play for puck possession and then making a sweet back pass to Woods for the goal. The game was 2-2 and the Gamblers were feeling it. The 2nd SOG of the period went to the back of the net on a nice play by the G’s at 12:41 as Luke Deary scored one for his Dad from the ageless duo of Meyer and Marrazzo to go up 3-2 and shock Tuck with the sudden turn of momentum. Marshall made a nice save on a Woods breakaway to keep it a 1-goal game. Shots were 14-14 @ 11:09. At about the 9-minute mark Parky told both benches to cut it out as they were going to start calling the slashing. Topo LaCroix made an excellent puck recovery at the end boards as Yablong took it behind the red line to protect it and wait for help. Topo fed his brother Goose in front but the shot got blocked. Topo continued his strong play scoring at 5:17 from Woods and Goose to make it 4-2 and the game started getting away from Tuck. This was a real chess match of a game. Both teams were thinking on the fly looking for the right pass to open up a play or spring a teammate forward only to be thwarted by a good defensive play or structure by the opposing squad. Both of these teams know themselves well and have the intangibles of team chemistry and anticipation of where a teammate is going and what they are going to do. The two forward lines of the Gamblers were being tough to beat, and Tuck took the first penalty of the game at 4:51 on a tripping call to “Dr. 70’s Porn Stache” himself, Matt Goff. I think the sexy/creepy stache got in the way of his vision while looking down and he ended up slashing a Gambler instead of getting the puck. During the PP the G’s had some nice puck movement in the latter half of the man advantage and they generated one good scoring chance and SOG. Shots ended 24-22 for Tuck at the end of the 2nd.

In the 3rd, Meyer showed his speed and determination backchecking to negate a Tuck advance and turn the play the other way. Meyer, Topo LaCroix and Marrazzo are every bit as fast as the fastest Tuckies and have 10+ years (or more in some cases) on every one of them. Impressive AF, guys. Seriously. The freshly shaven Stickel had a good stick in the neutral zone preventing a breakaway pass for the Gamblers. Ouelette and Woods got tangled up with a shove or two and words were exchanged in the scuffle. I didn’t see what precipitated it, but the end result was that Sully put his famous bear hug around Woods from behind to shut down any further shenanigans. Park was picking up the puck as the scuffle started facing the other way, so when he came up all he saw was Scully’s bear hug around Woods. Park kicked him out of the game and sent him home early to prevent any further escalation from either side. Goose broke free and got a break towards the Tuck net but put it just over the net and glove of Marshall. The Gamblers were playing smart D and were protecting the middle of the ice well. Ryan “Pretty Feet” Cassidy took a forewarned slashing call at 7:29 to put the Gamblers back on the PP in this 2-goal game as Tuck was trying to mount a comeback against a good team that was playing well. The reduced numbers on the bench started to hurt Tuck, but Stickel had a good chance after Ryan “Bergie” Bergeron made a bad pass on the PP right to Stickel in the neutral zone that got deflected up high off the shot. The Gamblers generated an impressive 5 SOG on the PP, but Tuck killed it off and “The Marshall” was sharp in net. Both teams were making exceptionally good short passes to teammates as the chess match continued. Tuck made a nice tip in front that went wide off a Cassidy shot. Tuck continued the strong effort with a good point shot through traffic that was saved by Cline. Tuck pulled the goalie with 2:24 left and this tired squad wouldn’t give up. The win was sealed on an empty netter at 1:46 on Deary’s second of the game from the brothers LaCroix. It was Goose who gets all the credit on this one as he outmuscled Stickel for the puck in the Gamblers’ end to take possession and head up ice on the rush to create the play and take it into Tuck territory. This exciting game ended with a 5-2 Gamblers victory and shots finished 33-30 for the G’s. There was good sportsmanship and the great hockey tradition of the handshake line at the end of the game continued.

MVP: Topo LaCroix led his team with speed, hockey smarts, great plays in all 3 zones, and hustle garnering 1G, 2A in this one to get top honors. This whole line played well tonight and Woods had 1G, 1A and Goose also had 1G, 2A making the crucial play on the dagger that left no doubt on who was winning this game. This is not to say that the line of Meyer between Marazzo and Deary didn’t play well, because they, too, dominated at times and got 5 points between them. So… Goose gets my second nomination for player of the week in this one.

LVP?:  Nobody sucked or cost their team the game tonight. Well played by all!

POST-GAME:
It was another great showing at “Club ‘Bee’s” after the game by Tuck. I have to say that all the years I’ve interacted with the Tuck teams post-game this current squad is the friendliest one yet and seems to have the most fun together. Back in the day in Woodstock at Bentley’s the Tuckies would regularly show up after the games, sometimes with wives and girlfriends, too. On occasion they would mingle with other UVHLers, but mostly kept to themselves. Not this group. In my personal experience, knowing that I’ve been away from the league for 9 years and don’t have a complete sample size, the 2023-24 Tuckies are the Friendliest Fuckin’ Tucks thus far! Or is it the Friendliest Tuckin’ Fucks? Whichever it is, it looks good on ya, guys. I gave a well-deserved toast to this team and drinks were raised and consumed! 

I was asking about any Tuck hockey talk passed down from the past decade plus in the UVie. Stickel said that from Covid there was sort of a disconnect because the league didn’t run for a few seasons, but that they were excited to go back to a league that had stop time, stats, a great website, game write-ups, etc. Stories hadn’t been passed down from years past about Tuck championships, great players, great moments and the like, although the website was a great resource about Tuck hockey history. I recalled some shit from way back in 2005-06 in Tuck’s first season (I think) and that era until I finished playing in 2014-15 of the typical strength of past Tuck teams that always challenged for the Whalen Cup. I think Tuck won in their first season in the UVie, and maybe their second as well. I only recall two Tuck teams that weren’t competitive during that whole time. One Tuck goalie played in the AHL as I recall, and Dartmouth’s NHL draft pick of the Rangers “Huge Specimen” Hugh Jessiman also suited up for Tuck when he came back for his MBA. I recounted my two favorite Tuck memories; one from a game we were playing against them, and one the Storm Kings battled them as well. One night in the first 3 seasons Tuck was in the league my team, The Nordiques, was the opponent. Tuck was playing physical that night and the refs were letting it go. Our Alpha Male, Tom Dakai, was a solid defenseman in the Ray Bourque mold. He was getting hit and bumped all game and his temper was a slow boil. His tolerance of the body contact was growing thin. Tom was a NH Fish and Game Warden and he had had enough, so he decided to hit back since it wasn’t being called. One poor Tuckie went at Dakai and he replied in kind breaking three of the Tuckie’s ribs and ending his season in an eye-for-an-eye response. Message sent. Tom went to the box, the Tuckie went to the hospital never to return to UVHL ice, and no one fucked with Tom again the rest of the season. Fuck with the bull, ya get the horns. My all-time favorite Tuck memory revolves around the same theme.  One night against the Storm Kings they were playing overly physical yet again. Former Dartmouth forward, Ryan Sinclair, now a long-time teacher at Cardigan Mountain School in Canaan, NH, was getting bumped around for a period or so. He didn’t like it, but was tolerating it. If you don’t know Sinclair, he was one of the most skilled players ever to play in the UVie. Great hockey sense, good shot, great hands around the net, great vision and passer, anticipation, tenacious, top scorer, and he had this move right out of the movie Tron where he could go laterally better than anyone we had ever seen before or since. Sinc was also on a slow boil that night. I was watching the game and saw this live from just a few feet away. Sinc got bumped hard in the corner on a puck battle. I don’t remember where the puck or play went, I just saw Sinc calmly corner the offending Tuckie and slowly take off his helmet and gloves, gently place them on the ice, roll up his sleeves and raise his fists in front of the surprised opponent. The body language was clear: if you’re gonna keep fucking with me then we’re gonna go right fucking now. The Tuckie just skated away tail between legs. Message sent, and Sinc was given some space the rest of the game and season. Fuckin’ classic!

Stickel decided to shave off the goatee he was sporting last week for some “smooth-on-smooth” action with his lovely lady, now fiancée. Noice move, Stickel! Stick her with the pointy end, too, eh. Torney was finally informed of a nickname and I made him look it up and read it in the write-ups to his humored approval. I was still working on nicknames for Goff and Marshall at the time, but managed to finally salvage that in the paragraphs above. I said hi to Marshall as he was sitting down as I hadn’t really met him yet and yelled across to him “Hey, I’m Shawn”. Immediately I was reprimanded by several Tuckies at once replying “No, you’re McDefense, not Shawn!”. I sat corrected feeling warm and tingly inside that my alter ego has truly become my hockey identity with the guys. Fuck that doctor shit, eh. 

O’Neill looked at me awkwardly at the start of our first face-to-face conversation since they started their Thanksgiving break when I asked if Interpol had caught up with him yet. Apparently not, cuz The Dreamus has got a lot of motherfucking reading to do! He’s totally missed some of my best work and had no fucking clue as to what I was even talking about. WTF, Dreamus? Like your studies and travels take precedence over reading the game summaries and disgusting, dirty drivel that I come up with in the 2-3 hours per write-up as I pour my heart and soul into these abortions of literary diarrhea??? C’mon, man… just indulge me a little bit, eh? Homework was assigned and O’Neill promised to make time on the weekend to catch up. You’d better, fuckin’ slacker! Like time spent on your MBA is gonna get you anywhere in life…? There were guffaws of approval as I proposed Goff’s new nickname, and Sully was forewarned of a likely change to his as well based on the last two games’ events. Sully was also teased that his customary huuuuge bucket of ice water post-game doubled as therapy to soak his knuckles in after the games. Apparently, the event that precipitated the confrontation between Ouelette and Woods was that Woods put the puck into the empty net after a play had finished. I didn’t see that at all, only the ensuing confrontation near the blueline. I also didn’t see Woods leaving the ice because he was having some trouble breathing after the bear hug Sully put on him. We all hope that he’s okay. Rumor also has it that Betten is also a good player in addition to being a goalie. I’ve seen this several times in my hockey lifetime where a goalie who also plays forward is NASTY in front of the net. Sean Coakley of the Storm Kings was exactly that way: AHL goalie and top UVHL scorer. My goalie and UVHL co-founder JT, John Turner, had this 6th sense in front of the net how to tip in pucks and find holes. Stu Logan, whose name just came to me, the goalie for Tuck back in the day that played in the AHL, also was a sick player up front. Gino, a former teacher and coach at KUA, in Meriden, NH, whose last name I forget right now, was a goalie and played out while he was here for Sunday night hockey back in the day and UVHL, had some of the greatest hands I’ve ever seen. Phil Grover, one of the longtime Northstars here from the B league, used to piss me the fuck off when he’d play out because he was so hard to play against. He, and the other goalies, were all so good at reading plays and had sick hands in front of the net. One guy from my St. Louis days was a nasty goalie and a nasty player as well. I guess the theme here right now is that goalies are just fucking nasty. And crazy. I added that last part, eh, but we all know it’s true.

The Tuckies expressed how they were hurt from the absences and low numbers the past two games, and it is true. Do I feel sorry for them? Not one bit. Show up or lose in the UVHL. That’s the league we dreamed about and built, and I’m very proud that it’s still that way 20 years later. Regardless, this team should have a rematch against the older, more mature Gamblers in the Whalen Cup Final if I were to make a prediction right now, so there is no need to feel sorry for them losing two close games in a row with low numbers. They were all in good spirits, and were asking Lexi if any of the teams from their tournament showed up at Club ‘Bee’s over last weekend and apparently Booth showed up and another squad as well. I was asked how long I spend on the write-ups and if it’s all done by memory. It really is 2-3 hours per, and I take notes during the game. Surprised eyebrows were raised at my efforts of love of this game, and of this league and its players. As usual, we closed up the bar and fist bumps were exchanged after yet another great night in the UVHL.

Respectfully submitted,

McDefense, aka HKYDOC