THE

UPPER VALLEY HOCKEY LEAGUE

January 26th, 2010 - 6:30PM
Union Arena - Woodstock, VT
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Game ID: 625

Tuck Trounces Hapless Nordiques!

Week 15 started out with a battle for 2nd place as the Tuckies hosted the Nordiques. Both teams entered with an 8-5-1 record, but Tuck flexed their hockey muscles and dismantled an uninspired Nordiques squad 7-2. Tuck was powered by a top line of Simon "The Bum Looker(SNL)" McKay, Jimmy "Mayes" Hays & Derek "Cookie Jar" Nowak who put up a combined 5 goals & 7 assists. At the back end, was Ryan "The Govenator" McGovern who was exceptional patrolling Tuck's defensive zone, but also contributed with a goal & assist.

The supposed defensive & goaltending battle ended up being one sided, as Tuck's Danny "John Wayne Gacy" Yacey was murdering the Nords with timely saves and stellar play in net while the Nordique's Johnny "Temper Tantrum" Turner consistently went down faster than a runaway elevator with Shawn McDermott on it. There are varying theories on how Turner, who is generally the best positional goaltender in the UVHL, was beaten upstairs 5 times from shots near the boards. The Theories:

1. Tuck had an early morning practice at Occum pond where all they worked on was hitting a hanging pea, taped under the crossbar.
2. Tuck some how snuck a laser guidance system into the UVHL pucks.
3. Turner owed McKay a big favor / McKay has dirt on Turner.
4. Turner needs glasses.
5. The lighting in the rink was bad, and JT couldn't differentiate the puck from the ice.
6. It was pure luck.

Whatever the reason, Turner became Tuck's bitch early in the first. The turning point was with 1:46 left in the first, when "The Govenator" flew down the far boards....after easily skating past most of the Nordiques, and fired a quick snap shot from the tops of the circles that beat Turner high blocker side. Despite Turner's struggles in this one, which he did somewhat counter with 7 or 8 huge saves, he was not helped at all by the rest of his team. The Nordiques gave up at least 15 odd man rushes, and defensive liability Kelly "The Turnover" Park was by far the worst player on the ice as he turned the puck over at least 80% of the time he had it.

Tuck seems to have found their groove, despite missing their leading goal scorer, Halsey "Turn Your Head and" Coughlin (12g, 8a in 9 games). Their defensive corp is solid with Andy "Hellboy" Helming, McGovern & Ryuji "Kooch" Kikuchi. They controlled play for most of the game and won a large majority of the small battles. The only time the Nordiques actually put some pressure on was late in the game as they had 6 minutes of power play in the final 10 minutes of play, but Tuck easily killed off all 3 penalties and converted their 9th win of the season to regain 2nd place in the league.

The difference maker in this one.....hmmm. It would be either Tuck's excellent puck control or the total lack of desire from the Nordiques. This was clearly the worst game the Nordiques have played all season. Tuck walked over them like a welcome mat, right into their house and stole their dignity.

LEAGUE PICK 'EM
 60%
Tuck
40% 
Nordiques
10 PICKS
THREE STARS

Simon McKay

GOALS: 3
POINTS: 4

Ryan McGovern

GOALS: 1
POINTS: 3

Derek Nowak

GOALS: 1
POINTS: 4

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