UPPER VALLEY HOCKEY LEAGUE

ODDS:	Tuck by 4 goals
OVER/UNDER:	8 goals

It's gonna be an interesting game. The Nordiques have lost their captain Tao Smith to an ACL injury as well as their defensive mountain of a man, Shawn "McBuffaloWings" McDermott to some sort of feminine hygiene clinical trial error. Their stud of a netminder, Johnny "Temper Tantrum" Turner will be out of town on business and they have recruited the services of an unknown who is 46 years old and listed as 5-0, 155 lbs.

Tuck has turned their season around after losing their first 4 to start the season and 6 of their first 7, they have won their last 3. BUT, their last win was a 1-0 forfeit by the Storm Queens, a dismal 1-0 win over the Whalers and a barn burner 6-5 upset of the Gamblers.

These are two teams in need of an identity, but all the chips seem to be stacked against the Nordiques, especially since they have that turnstyle back on defense, Kelly "Captain Turnover" Park.

My prediction......Tuck blows out the Nordiques 6-2.

Tuck is playing some good hockey, Nordiques.....Not so much.

The sinking Nordiques hosted the soaring Tuckies in week 17. A game that was predicted to be a 4 goal win for Tuck, mostly because of the absence of Nordique superstar netminder Johnny "Temper Tantrum / Work is TOO IMPORTANT" Turner & the complete and utter incompetence the Nords have shown in scoring goals. Without Turner in the state on Tuesday night, their ASSistant Captain / Co-Commissioner made the call to bring up an unknown from the minor leagues. The callup came on Saturday morning with Bob "The emetic semitic" Grundstein being sent up from the Burlington Bobbleheads and his nerves showed on the first shot he faced as a 32 MPH knuckler off of Adam "The Preying" Mantin's stick went cleanly through his 5-hole. Mantin saw weakness and pounced, adding 2 more goals & an assist before the night was over.

"The Kid Just Wasn't Ready for the Big Leagues".....said Tao "The Gimp" Smith, injured captain & semi-GM of the Nordiques. "I think we called him up too early, he probably could have used 3, 4.....maybe even 10 more years in the minors."

Regardless of the 2 goals Grundstein let in 5-hole and a couple of others Turner would have stopped, he made 35 saves in his rookie performance. The major issue here was that the Nordiques can't score! Karma has officially killed the Nordiques. With Greg "The Cursed Butcher of Guelph" Marsh scoring 12 goals in his first 7 games including 4 late game goals in the 7th game blowout of Tuck, 14-3. Since then, in 10 straight games, he has ZERO GOALS and just 3 assists. Karma may have also played a roll since their ASSistant-captain / co-commissioner Kelly "The Mouth" Park constantly makes fun of the Whalers for their lack of a scoring touch. Karma is a BITCH and right now she hates the Nordiques who have put up only 2.25 goals per game in their last 4 which are ALL LOSSES.

At the other end of the ice, the feel good, happy go-lucky Tuckians are happier than a bunch of pigs in mud, as they have won their last 4 games & 5 of 6. With the veteran leadership of Takashi "Take-Out" Mikoshiba and the excellent post-game massages by Ryan "The Govenator" McGovern, they have erased the memory of their dismal 1-6 start.

This one, as previously mentioned, did not start out well for the Nords as Mantin fired a pathetic shot from the far boards through the gaping 5-hole of Grundy at 10:42 of the first. It took Tuck just over 7 minutes to get the next one as they were trying to get too cute with the puck. At 3:40 Mantin & Simon "Cowell" McKay bust in on a hapless Nordique defender. Mantin carried the puck and dished a pass to McKay in the slot where he quickly deposited the puck into a wide open net to put Tuck up 2-0. The Nordiques battled back with 2 quick goals by Park & O'Neil. The first came with Park leaving a drop pass to Ian "The Grin" Coates at Tuck's blueline. Park crashed the net for a screen and Coates threw a perfect low shot on Ryan "The Hot Fuzz" Fitzgerald who left a rebound in the crease that Park mopped up to cut the lead in half. Park & Coates figured into the next goal with just 16 seconds left when Coates & Park worked a give and go behind their own net before Park threw a 90 foot pass to Mikey "Cherry Picker" O'Neil who had snuck behind the Tuckie defense. O'Neil took the indirect pass right at the blue line at the far boards, walked just inside the top of the far circle and blasted a perfect shot just inside the post, glove side. That was just about as good as it was going to get for the Nords.

END OF THE FIRST: All Tied at 2

Tuck opened up the 2nd period with a goal in the first minute as Derek "The Polish Performer" Nowak who walked in on another 2 on 1 and fired a quick shot past Grundy to put Tuck up 3-2. The Nordiques carried a good portion of the play in the second period but Tuck lit the lamp at 5:05 when Stephen "Cha-Ching" Cheng CASHED in a Nowak pass. Mantin scored his 2nd with 1:57 to go again from Nowak who had an outstanding night with 1 goal & 4 assists.

END OF THE SECOND: Tuck pulls ahead 5-2

Tuck added to their lead with an early goal in the 3rd period when McKay added his 2nd of the night from the Governator to put Tuck up 6-2. The Nordiques chipped away again when Jordan "Knight" McGee got his 13th of the season and first point in 4 games with 9:06 to play. Tuck bounced right back though just 43 seconds later when Mantin finished his hatrick off from his linemates McKay & Nowak to close out the scoring on the night 7-3 The Nordiques continued to press, but Fitzgerald was there to shut them down at every turn.

END OF REGULATION: Tuck 7, NorDINKS 3

 

Team:	Time:	Type:	Player:	Details:
1st PERIOD
TCK	10:42	Goal	Mantin, Adam(24)	Assist(s): none
TCK	03:40	Goal	McKay, Simon(8)	Assist(s): Mantin, Adam(20) Nowak, Derek(22)
NDQ	02:20	Goal	Park, Kelly(8)	Assist(s): Coates, Ian(17)
NDQ	00:16	Goal	O'Neil, Michael(6)	Assist(s): Park, Kelly(12) Coates, Ian(18)
2nd PERIOD
TCK	14:04	Goal	Nowak, Derek(14)	Assist(s): none
TCK	05:15	Goal	Cheng, Stephen(3)	Assist(s): Nowak, Derek(23)
TCK	01:57	Goal	Mantin, Adam(25)	Assist(s): Nowak, Derek(24)
3rd PERIOD
TCK	09:06	Goal	McKay, Simon(9)	Assist(s): McGovern, Ryan(11)
NDQ	09:06	Goal	McGee, Jordan(13)	Assist(s): Phillips, Roger(11)
TCK	08:23	Goal	Mantin, Adam(26)	Assist(s): McKay, Simon(10) Nowak, Derek(25)

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