UPPER VALLEY HOCKEY LEAGUE

ODDS:	Gamblers by 3
OVER/UNDER:	7.5 goals

The 4th & 5th place teams are going head to head in a classic battle of two teams on the rise. The Maple Leafs.....er.....Whalers just DISMANTLED the lowly Nordiques last week in a 5-4 shootout victory. Dismantled is definitely the right word, as I was there, on the Nordiques and they tore us apart. Th Bruins.......er......Gamblers are coming off a SOLID 6-2 thrashing of the despicable Brewers who looked too hung over to wipe themselves properly.

The Gamblers are led by their top line of Mighty Mouse(Meyer), The Milkman(Marrazzo) & The Animal(Ammel) who have combined for 32 points in 18 total games. Their defense is big and strong, their netminding is OK as the bearded leprechaun, Condon, does some magically delicious tricks to keep the puck out of the net. Not to mention that their team game has been established after some early troubles to start the season.

The Mighty Whalers have blown all suspicions right out their GIANT BLOW HOLE, by downing the undefeated Nordiques in a shootout. Ken "French Fries" Lallier was stupendous in the shootout going 3 for 3, while their offense is like a finely tuned sledge hammer, pounding away at the offense and gobbling up garbage goals like a cracked out tranny who hasn't eaten in a month. They definitely have the tallest lineup in the league with a combined stick length of just over 2 miles. The only thing keeping them alive is their daily tribute to ex-captain / player-coach / taint-licker, Sean Casavant who is recovering after a KILLER boob-job and nut tuck.

My prediction.......the Whalers won't be able to stop the speed & tenacity of the Gamblers top line who will produce 3 goals and 7 points between them. The Whalers will again show their inconsistency and hit the low on their rollercoaster season, sputtering out in a 5-2 loss.

Gamblers v. Whalers

The Enfield Gamblers are quickly establishing themselves as a contender in the UVHL since going 4-0 after a DISMAL 0-2-1 start. They have LITERALLY gotten better each week:

11/04 - 8-6 Win over the lowly Tuckeroonies
11/11 - 4-3 Shootout Win over the Storm Queens
11/18 - 6-2 Schallacking of the Top Notch Brewers
11/25 - 10-1 Thrashing of the Whalers

Tonight the Gamblers were dealt a royal flush, as they threw the Whalers to the ground, stomped all over them and then flushed them down the toilet. The MMA line contributed for 16 points on 7 of the Gamblers 10 goals. Matty "The Mailman" Marrazzo & Willy "Mighty Mouse" Meyer swapped 3 goals & 3 assists apiece while Danny "The Animal" Ammel added a goal and 3 assists himself. J-Rod "The Leprechaun" Condon was magically delicious in net as he stopped 18 of 19 and then went searching for his pot of gold after the game.

This was actually a close game for most of the first period, as the only difference through the first 13 minutes was a Jason "Youngblood" Young goal at 6:08 from Kevin "The Guillotine" Guilbault & "Rolls" Royce Lawrence. But that was about as good as it was going to get for the Whalers tonight as Ryan McHugo took a slashing call with 2:53 to play opening the door for a MMA Powerplay goal with 1:50 to go when Marrazzo & Meyer moved the puck to Ammel who beat Kenny "French Fries" Lallier. Lallier was ANYTHING but good tonight, only stopping 68% of the shots he faced, letting in 10 of 31. But, once again, you can't put all the blame on Lallier, there WAS a team in front of him.......kind of!

END OF THE FIRST: Gamblers 2, Whalers 0
SAVES: Condon(GMB) 7, Lallier(WHL) 10

The Gamblers tallied another goal early in the 2nd period with a Gary "Stripes" Laperle penalty, which is very interesting that the ex-ref has racked up 3 minors this year, it must be all of the pent up aggression. On the ensuing powerplay, Marrazzo knotted his first of three on the night from his favorite Boy Band member Joey McIntyre. McIntyre was "Hangin' Tough" with the "Right Stuff" as he took it "Step By Step" and put together a solid 3 point night with a goal & 2 assists. (editors note: I really didn't know all of those New Kids On The Block Songs, I had to do research to make that last sentence ROCK, I swear I don't own more than 3 NKOTB albums.....ok, only 4 of their albums) Marrazzo put his team up 4-0 from Meyers & Lawrence just a minute and 15 seconds later. Despite adding the only two goals of the period, the Gamblers were outshot 6-3 in the period by the hard working Whalers, but it seems as though they blew all of their energy right out of that giant blow hole, leaving them lifeless as a beached Sperm Whale in the sun.

END OF THE SECOND: Gamblers 4, Whalers 0
SAVES Condon(GMB) 13, Lallier(WHL) 13

The third was both UGLY for the Whalers, especially for Lallier who almost let as many slip past him(6) as he had saves(8). Yet again, it was a team effort as the Whale's lungs collapsed, allowing goals from everywhere including a shorthander with 54 seconds to play and finally the BACK-BREAKING 10th goal with just 8 seconds left. Willy Meyer added his 3 goals in the 3rd while Marrazzo finished his hat trick as well. McIntyre netted the shorthanded goal and Scotty "Too Hotty" Fraser got his first of the season with 13:15 to play. The high point of the period for the Whalers came when Joey "The Mute" Hayes ruined Condon's shutout just over a minute into the 3rd, rumors have it that there were CHEERS heard around the world. All in all, the Gamblers netted 6 goals on a hapless Whalers squad, that had nothing left.

END OF REGULATION: Gamblers 10, Whalers 1
SAVES: Condon(GMB) 18, Lallier(WHL) 21

 

Team:	Time:	Type:	Player:	Details:
1st PERIOD
GMB	06:08	Goal	Young, Jason(2)	Assist(s): Gilbault, Kevin(6) Lawrence, Royce(3)
WHL	02:53	Penalty	McHugo, Ryan(2)	2 minutes for Slashing
GMB	01:50	Goal	Ammel, Robert(9)	Assist(s): Meyer, Will(5) Marrazzo, Matt(8)
2nd PERIOD
WHL	13:42	Penalty	Laperle, Gary(3)	2 minutes for Tripping
GMB	13:29	Goal	Marrazzo, Matt(5)	Assist(s): McIntyre, Joe(4)
GMB	12:14	Goal	Marrazzo, Matt(6)	Assist(s): Meyer, Will(6) Lawrence, Royce(4)
GMB	11:27	Penalty	Young, Jason(2)	2 minutes for Slashing
GMB	07:16	Penalty	Seely, Tyson(1)	2 minutes for Tripping
3rd PERIOD
WHL	13:58	Goal	Hayes, Joe(4)	Assist(s): Fitts, Dave(4) Laperle, Gary(1)
GMB	13:43	Goal	Meyer, Will(8)	Assist(s): Ammel, Robert(7) McIntyre, Joe(5)
GMB	13:15	Goal	Fraser, Scott(1)	Assist(s): none
GMB	12:54	Goal	Meyer, Will(9)	Assist(s): Marrazzo, Matt(9) Ammel, Robert(8)
GMB	07:55	Goal	Marrazzo, Matt(7)	Assist(s): Ammel, Robert(9) Meyer, Will(7)
WHL	04:29	Penalty	Nalette, Todd(3)	2 minutes for Hooking
GMB	02:24	Penalty	Gilbault, Kevin(1)	2 minutes for Hooking
GMB	00:54	Goal	McIntyre, Joe(4)	Assist(s): none
GMB	00:08	Goal	Meyer, Will(10)	Assist(s): Marrazzo, Matt(10)

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Game Comments:
goaliem31 Cornish, NH Registered: Posts: 63	standings Nov 25th, 2008 11:04 AM KP it is actually a battle of 3rd place and 5th place... gamblers take third cause of the tie breaking between them and stormkings... just thought i would let ya know... by the way i am looking forward to seeing how the learn to play hockey class payed off for you this week... haha
kpark Quechee, VT Registered: Dec 2003 Posts: 724	Ha Nov 25th, 2008 11:48 AM Condogs, the learn to skate didn't really help. Apparently I need to take more than one class. But they kicked me out saying I was a "Lost Cause" so now I can't take the rest. I did run up and down the stairs a couple of times to get some cans of chilli out of the basement, I think that will definitely help my game. I hope the WHALE throttles you guys tonight! They do have some weird shots that you wouldn't expect from grown men, and they tend to make plays like Mites who are about to overdose on crystal meth. KP
goaliem31 Cornish, NH Registered: Posts: 63	ha Nov 25th, 2008 12:03 PM i will keep the spastic play in mind... your not really a lost cause... i would say its more along the lines of "just lost"... oh and don't let the gimp crew, that is tucks 3 reported injured players, walk you too bad in their walkers... LOL!!!
PaleWhale Lebanon, NH Registered: Posts: 13	Fantastic! Nov 25th, 2008 01:21 PM Park is a beautiful man as he described the whale as.... "Mites who are about to overdose on crystal meth" . How 'bout high school drop outs on a 12 pack of red bull? This is our game plan, get our heart rates to the point of no return, which means the only way to survive is to keep plugging away while we look for the next shot of adrenaline. Did you see the movie Crank?
habs101 , NH Registered: Posts: 16	Nov 25th, 2008 01:36 PM It's funny how those mites that were overdosing beat the almighty Nordinks...Once again nice call kelly. Heard your shootout move made the rest of your team puke.
kpark Quechee, VT Registered: Dec 2003 Posts: 724	TECHNICALLY!!! Nov 25th, 2008 01:41 PM If you are going to fudge our name up as the Nordinks, we would prefer you write it this way......Nor-DINKS.....It is more effective and brilliant that way. Yes, my move was something out of a learn-to-skate class, actually, it really is where I learned that move 2 weeks ago. I would just like to say it would have gone in if Lallier hadn't made such an AMAZING stop. It was brilliant and even Lemieux couln't have put that by him. That being said, I have been doing squat thrusts, leg lifts & toe drags since the loss. All to the sounds of Eye of the Tiger. I won't forget you LALLIER, I WON'T FORGET!!!!
habs101 , NH Registered: Posts: 16	Nov 26th, 2008 10:37 PM the whale sucks
goaliem31 Cornish, NH Registered: Posts: 63	write-up/commentary Nov 29th, 2008 12:04 PM very in dept coverage KP... your words really tried capturing the spirit of the thing eh?? LOL!!!
kpark Quechee, VT Registered: Dec 2003 Posts: 724	Thanks J-Rod Nov 29th, 2008 03:41 PM I really wanted the world to know how magically delicious your leprechaun play was! KP
goaliem31 Cornish, NH Registered: Posts: 63	"i wanted to capture the spirit of the thing" Nov 29th, 2008 03:44 PM LOL!!! "people are always after me lucky charms"
kpark Quechee, VT Registered: Dec 2003 Posts: 724	CONDOGS! Nov 29th, 2008 03:48 PM HA, Too funny!!!!!!!