THE

UPPER VALLEY HOCKEY LEAGUE

Whalers
Nordiques
1st
1
0
2rd
1
2
3rd
2
2
FINAL
4
4
Shots
34
20
November 18th, 2008 - 6:30PM
Pre-Game
Recap
Box Score
Discussion
Game ID: 517

Whalers shock the world, TROUNCE NORDS then win in a Shootout.

THIS JUST IN.......The Nordiques ARE in fact human, and really kinda suck. Not to take anything away from the SOLID play of the Whalers, but the NORDIQUES REALLY SUCK. The Whalers on the other hand were dominating, keeping the lowly Nordiques to only 2 shots in the first period and 20 in the game while amassing 34 themselves. I'm not quite sure if the Whalers were fired up by some arrogant pre-game website predictions of total domination by the Nordiques or if they were just tired of being the doormat of the UVHL. One thing I know is that they are the hardest working team in the league and beat the Nordiques to every single puck and played a good clean & physical game.

They seemed to have a plan in place, put some bodies in front of Johnny "The Rebound" Turner and crash the net. Usually beating the sloth-like defenseman of the Nords to the front of the net. Turner was leaving rebounds all night like little pieces of crack-cocaine for those dirty little Whaler whores. Sorry, that wasn't very nice, I guess I'm still bitter about the loss. I may need a couple of minutes to compose myself, maybe cry a little and then take a bath with some razor blades.

Ok, I'm back. The Whaler's offense was thrown on the back of Jimmy "Hightower" LeClair who is an obvious P.O.W. candidate with 1 goal, 2 assists AND the game winning shootout goal. LeClair was fantastic out there, especially combined with the speed of Joey "The Mute" Hayes and the craftiness of Todd "The Rat" Nalette. Despite his offensive prowess, one unnamed spectator said that watching LeClair & Kelly "Ankle-Bending" Park race after the puck was like watching a slow death. Not only were the moving beyond slow, that people walking down the side of the rink were moving faster than they were on skates.

MORE TO COME

The Whalers tallied the only goal of the first as Scotty "The Leopard" Leger took a Jason "Lickity Splitz" Loomis pass and beat Turner with a quick wrister at 11:22. Other than the lonesome goal was pure domination by the Whalers. They outshot the Nordiques 13-2.

END OF THE FIRST: Whalers 1, Nordiques 0
SAVES: Lallier(WHL) 2, Turner(NDQ) 12

The second period saw a bit more activity from both teams with 2 penalties and three goals. The Nordiques woke up out of their coma, only to slip into some sort of catatonic sleep, mesmerized by the intense Whale song & dance. The Nordiques tied the game up just 102 seconds in when Jordan "Mr. MaGoo" McGee beat Kenny "Le Petitte Gran" Lallier, assisted by Mike "The Trike" O'Neil. Under two minutes later Hayes put the Whalers back on top as he burst down the far boards and then tore the meat off Shawn "The Big Blue Cheese" McDermott like an overcooked buffalo wing with a quick cutback on the boards. McDermott crumbled in the corner before Hayes headed towards the net then used Davey "Prison Rape" Fitts & a Nord's defenseman as a screen. He fired a quick wrister from the faceoff dot that tore through Turner's glove off the far post and in. The Nordiques tied the game on a pretty passing play ending up in a shitty tally. The goal came on a 3 on 2 when Roger "The Dirty & Rusty Dentist Drill of Death" Phillips broke into the zone on the near boards and hit Greg "The Delicatessen Counter Man" Marsh with a perfect cross ice pass. Marsh quickly hit the trailman, Coates who had to readjust after the 95 MPH 15 foot pass. Coates got the shot off from the high slot as quickly as he could but the shot was tipped perfecty by a Whalers defenseman, redirecting it up and over a downed Lallier and perfectly into the upper right corner with just 7 seconds to play in the period.

END OF THE SECOND: Whalers 2, Nordiques 2
SAVES: Lallier(WHL) 9, Turner(NDQ) 20

The third period was fast and furious for the Whalers as they potted TWO goals in the first 35 seconds and 7 seconds apart. The first came off the initial faceoff and Joey Hayes worked his way into the zone before firing a shot on Turner from the tops of the circles. Turner left a big rebound in the low slot and the Nords defenseman were out numbered and out hustled by the big man, 8 foot 9 inch Jimmy LeClair who banged in the rebound. Seven seconds later, and right off the faceoff Davey Fitts broke up the middle and fired a high shot on Turner who left another BAD rebound in his own crease. A Whaler winger took McDermott hard to the net resulting in the puck bouncing off of McDiesel and into his own net. 7 seconds of glory for the Whalers & 7 seconds of shame for the Nords who were out hustled on both plays. The Nords did bounce back with a quick tally 1:24 later with a laser of a slapshot off of Johnny "Mac" McGee to bring the Nords back within one. The Nords continued to pressure over the next couple of minutes, which was really their only good coupla minutes in the game. Greg Marshy tied the game up with 11 minutes to play off of another tic-tac-toe play when Coatesy beat a man in the corner, turned and fired a quick shot to the high slot and a waiting Phillips who in turn moved the puck right up the gut to Marshy just to the left of the net. Marshy was covered but the pass was perfectly placed for the tip in past Lallier who was playing shot all the way. The Whalers carried play for a good portion of the 3rd ending in a tie and forcing a shootout.

END OF REGULATION: Whalers 4, Nordiques 4
SAVES: Lallier(WHL) 16, Turner(NDQ) 30

The shootout went something like this:

NDQ : Marshy with a pathetic 5-holio snapper. Easily stopped by Lallier. NO GOAL
WHL: Clausen shoots one into Turner's Belly. NO GOAL
NDQ: Coates made an backhand to forehand move, post. NO GOAL
WHL: LeClair bobbled the puck, pulled it to his backhand. GOOOOOOOAL
NDQ: Park tried a lame "Lemieux" leaving the puck in the crease after Lallier got a piece of it. He then skated off to the humiliating laughter coming from the Whalers bench.

Turner declared Park's shootout as a game-losing play.

WHALERS SHOCK THE WORLD WITH A SHOOTOUT WIN OVER THE UNDEFEATED NORDIQUES.

LEAGUE PICK 'EM
 0%
Whalers
0% 
Nordiques
0 PICKS
THREE STARS

Jim LeClair

GOALS: 1
POINTS: 3

Joe Hayes

GOALS: 2
POINTS: 3

Greg Marsh

GOALS: 1
POINTS: 2

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