UPPER VALLEY HOCKEY LEAGUE

ODDS:	Nordiques by 2
OVER/UNDER:	8 goals

Two of the oldest teams in the UVHL face off tonight as the Noridques(originially Silver) host the Whalers (Originally Blue) in the late slot. History has been kind to the Nordiques as they have taken an 18-6-1 record against the Whalers in 5 seasons of play.

The Whalers are powered by the old man Kenny "Le" Lallier in net, Kirt "Big" Johnson on the blue line and the tallest smurf of them all Sean "Brainy Smurf" Casavant. They've retooled this season adding a few new players and cutting some dead weight. Their season may hinge on whether or not Joey "The Mute" Hayes can break out of little mime enclosure and finally put up the points that his skill should deliver.

The Nordiques on the other hand have been a consistent force throughout their tenure in the UVHL. Winning 2 cups and focusing on team play instead of that of the individual. The Nords are anchored by Johnny "Back Fat" Turner, who hosts a career 70-48-3 record with a sub 4.00 GAA. Although Turner's GAA seems to be climbing year over year, he looks for this to be his bounce back year and has been quoted saying "I'm gonna eat up ALL of those rebounds like McDermott eats chicken wings at an all you can eat buffet." The Nords will be without McDiesel on the blue line tonight with a slight inner labia tear. He should be back for week 2. The Nords will need production for Roger "The Dirty Dentist" Phillips, Greg "The Canadian Cannonball" Marsh & "Sir" Ian Coates.

This should be a good one seeing that the Maple Leafs always play hard and tend to forecheck the SHIT out of their opponents. Regardless, Vegas has the Nordiques winning this one 5-3.

Nords host the Whalers for 26th UVHL showdown.

Two of the oldest teams in the UVHL faced off tonight as the Noridques(originially Silver) hosted the Whalers (Originally Blue) in the late slot. History has been kind to the Nordiques as they have taken an 18-6-1 record against the Whalers in 5 seasons of play.

History continued on a steady pace this evening as the Nords pounced early and often against a lackluster Whale, and ended up with a solid 9-0 win. Anchored by Johnny "Tub Tub" Turner's 26 save shutout & the addition of some youth, Johnny & Jordan McGee. The McGee boys were pulled in from a dismal Bruins squad that did not renew their options before the season started. This may have been arrogance on the Gambler's part, or just some mis-communication between the old and new regime.

The Nords jumped out early when Jordan "Mr. MaGoo" McGee finished off a pass from Greg "Gigantor" Marsh & Mikey "The Midget" O'Neil just 1:17 into the game. McGee, who finished the night with a hat trick & four helpers assisted on the next two goals as Ian "The Canadiens Fan" Coates made it 2-0 with 8:42 to go & Roger "The Dentist Drill" Phillips made it 3-0 with just over a minute to go.

END OF THE FIRST: Nords 3, Whale 0

In between the first and second the Nordiques were highly positive, listening intently to their player coach Tao "Reg Dunlop" Smith. Smith could be heard across the arena yelling things like "Love the Puck", "There is NO I in TEAM" and "You can't make chicken salad out of CHICKEN SHIT!!!!!" The Whalers could be heard saying a prayer for team captain, Sean "Little Fish" Casavant who was apparently recovering from a botched breast reduction.

I would just like to offer the sympathies on behalf of the entire UVHL to Sean & his family. Those cans were a ton of fun, and we will miss closing our eyes and feeling you up at the bar.

The second period had the Maple Leafs.....er....Whale Tale flying high and fast, forechecking like the team of old, but quickly fell back into the shitter as the Nords tallied 3 more behind goals from Smith, Phillips and Kelly "The Mouth" Park. Johnny Turner was spectacular for the Mean Green Machine stopping 10 shots. Lallier made 8 saves in the second frame, despite letting up 3 goals. Lallier definitely was NOT the problem in this one, it was a complete team effort from the Whalers.

END OF THE SECOND: Nords 6, Whalers 0

In between the 2nd and 3rd, the Nords Smith could be heard saying things like "You know what, I LOVE YOU GUYS", "Do these pants make my ass look fat?" and "MAN, I can't wait to hit the showers, I've got a new luffa!!!" On the other side of the table was panic on behalf of the Whalers where Dave "Fireplug" Fitts threatened Kirt "Big" Johnson with a home made shank.

Again the Leafs came out flying and carried the play a bit to begin the 3rd. The Nords were kept off the board until McGee got his 3rd of the night after picking Kirt Johnson's pocket at his own blue line, breaking in on Lallier all along from the far boards throwing an inside-outside move before dishing the puck inside the near post with 8:07 to play. McGee struck again exactly 2.5 minutes later when Park found Marsh with a long cross ice pass. Marsh walked down the far boards before finding McGee with a PERFECT pass, feathered through a defender or two. Coates got back on the board with just 17 seconds to go behind a nice passing combo from the McGee Boys to close out the scoring and the FINAL nail in the coffin.

END OF REGULATION: Nords 9, Whalers 0

 

Team:	Time:	Type:	Player:	Details:
1st PERIOD
NDQ	13:43	Goal	McGee, Jordan(1)	Assist(s): O'Neil, Michael(1) Marsh, Greg(1)
NDQ	08:42	Goal	Coates, Ian(1)	Assist(s): Phillips, Roger(1) McGee, Jordan(1)
NDQ	01:09	Goal	Phillips, Roger(1)	Assist(s): Dakai, Tom(1) McGee, Jordan(2)
2nd PERIOD
NDQ	07:36	Goal	Smith, Tao(1)	Assist(s): Marsh, Greg(2) O'Neil, Michael(2)
NDQ	01:30	Goal	Phillips, Roger(2)	Assist(s): Smith, Tao(1) Park, Kelly(1)
NDQ	00:06	Goal	Park, Kelly(1)	Assist(s): McGee, Jordan(3) Nightingale, Poli(1)
3rd PERIOD
NDQ	08:07	Goal	McGee, Jordan(2)	Assist(s): O'Neil, Michael(3)
NDQ	05:37	Goal	McGee, Jordan(3)	Assist(s): Marsh, Greg(3) Park, Kelly(2)
NDQ	00:17	Goal	Coates, Ian(2)	Assist(s): McGee, Jordan(4) McGee, John(1)

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Game Comments:
kpark Quechee, VT Registered: Dec 2003 Posts: 724	Love the Whalers Oct 17th, 2008 12:00 PM In all reality, I love playing the Whalers. Even though they didn't show up for this game, they generally play a fast paced and clean game. Great group of guys too, but their scouting department is SHIT. You guys need to fire your entire scouting team, and rebuild your farm system from the ground up. The Nords currently hired an eastern European scout as well as have a entire team scouting Northern Africa & Mongolia for talent. But that is just what the Nordiques do! Make GOOD decisions. I'm looking forward to the next game against you guys! KP
hkydoc WRJ, VT Registered: Jan 2004 Posts: 517	Time to cut McD Oct 19th, 2008 04:18 PM Looks like the Nords don't need me anymore...time to send me to the B league!
The Dark Canuck Fairlee, VT Registered: Dec 2004 Posts: 340	Do NOT Oct 19th, 2008 05:00 PM Go to the "B" league McD. I know that the NO Names give you reach-arounds in the shower. but you can still compete at our level. I'm sure you have at least a few more good seasons? Besides, if we didn't get to see the bleu-cheese dressing streaming down your face after a boneyard of chickens maliciously gave up their life for your addiction that is B U F F A L O -----------W I N G S !!!!
kpark Quechee, VT Registered: Dec 2003 Posts: 724	Tryout in Week 2 Oct 19th, 2008 05:15 PM McD, we're willing to give you a tryout in week 2 for the season. We are not sure you can compete in the UVHL at your new weight. Down 25 lbs may hurt your game. But rumor has it that you annihilated 1,000 wings over the weekend! KP
hkydoc WRJ, VT Registered: Jan 2004 Posts: 517	The rumors are TRUE! Oct 19th, 2008 05:43 PM How did you know it was 1000 wings? That is EXACTLY how many I devoured since Friday night! However, my ass is on fire with Buffalo Sauce... I prefer the Nords reach-arounds. Everything is just better in the A league!
kpark Quechee, VT Registered: Dec 2003 Posts: 724	Just the Nords?!?!? Oct 20th, 2008 03:22 PM Can we get ANYONE else to contribute to the Game Comments & Forum other than Nordiques?
goaliem31 Cornish, NH Registered: Posts: 63	Just the Nords?!?!? Oct 21st, 2008 05:38 PM i tried and fail miserably!!! hahaha although i have to say putting back some beers and wings with McD has been a long time coming since the end of mud season...