UPPER VALLEY HOCKEY LEAGUE

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Storm Kings roll over Nordiques 6-2.

The 1-3-0 Nordiques hosted the 2-2-0 Storm Kings in the first game of tonights action. With both teams coming off of big losses, the Kingers with a 10-5 dismantling at the hands of a streaking Potter club and the NorLeafs with a 5-2 loss to the undefeated power house Brew Crew Pub.

The Kingers have been battling the "heartless hockey man" bug for weeks as they have been short handed, including playing with just 5 men in two of the past 3 games. Only after one of Dan "The Mediator" French's maniacal emails, were the Kingers able to finally produce a full squad against the Nordiques tonight. The NorLeafs have also been inconsistent with their lineup this year, but no matter if they have 6 guys or 26........they still suck, particularly their Assistant to the Assistant Captain Kelly "The Lazy Limp" Park.

The Nordiques actually held their ground for the first 9 minutes or so as they still tried to find their scoring touch that has been NON-Existent all season long. It wasn't until the 5:54 mark that the Kingers finally broke through on Turner while on a 5 on 3 powerplay with the Nord's Park & Tao "The Cheap Prick" Smith in the box for checking. The only other notables of the first were two Kinger's penalties in the to Kip "The New Guy" Oberting & of course an Artie Stout penalty for cross-checking for his league leading 32nd penalty minute in 4 1/3 games.

Both goaltenders were excellent in the first as Johnny "THE ANGRY MESH PROTECTOR" Turner declined 15 shots and Dan "THE WALL OF" French "TOAST" coming up HUGE in a couple of situations with 8 saves.

END OF THE FIRST: Nordiques 0, Storm Kings 2
SAVES: Turner(NDQ) 15, French(STK) 8

The second period was exactly like the first but with the Nordiques capitalizing on the power play just over 9 minutes into the period with Artie "Penalty Pete" Stout in the sin bin for a roughing call. The goal was scored by the Nord's co-captain Ian "The Greek God of Drinking Shitty Beer" Coates as he finished off a rebound from a Jason "Crazy Legs" Loomis shot. The 1-goal lead didn't last long as the Kingers bounced right back just 40 seconds later behind a Ronald "The Elfish Sprite" Dupuis goal that started with a great breakout pass from their netminder, Danny French. The Kingers went up a crisp 4-1 with 3:27 to go when the Nord's Park threw a lazy.......um, no.....we'll call it a STUPID AND SHITTY FUCKING pass from the near boards to where he thought a defenseman would be. But there wasn't a defenseman there, just the Kinger's Oberting who fought through two Nordiques to break in alone on Turner and beat him with a move to his backhand.

END OF THE SECOND: Nordiques 1, Storm Kings 4
SAVES: Turner(NDQ) 24, French(STK) 17

The third period stated out slowly again as there was little activity in the first 6 minutes besides a "Mean" Dean Cashman hook at 12:22. The Kingers tallied their fifth of the night with 8:21 to go when Stout dished a pass behind the net to the spritely Dupuis. Dupuis fed a perfect backhand pass through the wickets of Park to a Mikey "The Whiz Kid" Fitzgerald who one-timed a quick snapper from the bottom of the face-off dots, FIVE-HOLIO on Turner's gaping FIVE-HOLE. The Kinger's Ian "Gunner" Gill made it 6-1 with 3:33 to go from Oberting to put the game WAY out of reach. The Nordiques did manage to get another goal with 1:42 when Park took a Joey "The Mute" Hayes pass from the corner and threw a seeing eye puck through the a screen, Five-Hole on French.

END OF REGULATION: Nordiques 2, Storm Kings 6
SAVES: Turner(NDQ) 31, French(STK) 24

 

Team:	Time:	Type:	Player:	Details:
1st PERIOD
NDQ	07:58	Penalty	Smith, Tao(3)	2 minutes for Checking
NDQ	06:39	Penalty	Park, Kelly(2)	2 minutes for Interference
STK	05:54	Goal	Stout, Artie(1)	Assist(s): Fitzgerald, Mike(7) White, Marty(2)
STK	04:21	Penalty	Oberting, Kip(1)	2 minutes for Hooking
STK	02:08	Penalty	Stout, Artie(12)	2 minutes for Cross Checking
2nd PERIOD
STK	12:52	Goal	Cashman, Dean(6)	Assist(s): Dupuis, Ron(2) Fitzgerald, Mike(8)
NDQ	10:36	Penalty	McDermott, Shawn(2)	2 minutes for Body Checking
STK	06:08	Penalty	Stout, Artie(13)	2 minutes for Roughing
NDQ	05:32	Goal	Coates, Ian(2)	Assist(s): Loomis, Jason(1) Smith, Tao(2)
STK	04:52	Goal	Dupuis, Ron(2)	Assist(s): Marrazzo, Matt(3) French, Dan(1)
STK	03:27	Goal	Oberting, Kip(1)	Assist(s): none
3rd PERIOD
STK	12:23	Penalty	Cashman, Dean(2)	2 minutes for Hooking
STK	08:21	Goal	Fitzgerald, Mike(2)	Assist(s): Dupuis, Ron(3) Stout, Artie(1)
NDQ	06:49	Penalty	Loomis, Jason(1)	2 minutes for Tripping
STK	03:33	Goal	Gill, Ian(3)	Assist(s): Oberting, Kip(1)
NDQ	01:42	Goal	Park, Kelly(1)	Assist(s): Hayes, Joe(2)

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