UPPER VALLEY HOCKEY LEAGUE

ODDS:	Nordiques by 2
OVER/UNDER:	8.5 goals

The 1-5-1 Maple Leafs head into week 8 with high hopes of turning things around against the 4-4 Nordiques. The Nordiques are coming off of a big 7-5 win over the Brew Crew while the Leafs are looking to end their loosing streak at 5 games.

The Maple Leafs are coming off of a strong game against the Storm Kings where the lost 5-3 but were leading 2-0 in what is know know as McWHISTLE FEST. The Maple Leafs can only be successful if they get their conditioning up to last through all 3 periods and if they can find a true leader and goal scorer. The Maple Leafs have a long, scary & ugly history of playing their hearts out for 2 periods and then tanking in the 3rd. Kenny Lallier has been nothing but SPECTACULAR for the mighty Leafs this year, but the insane number of shots that he faces each night are starting to take a toll on that old body.

The Nordiques are still trying to figure out who they are this year. Are they the same defensively minded team that they were in the 2006-2007 campaign which led them to the best record in the UVHL? Are they a sub-par team without Willy Meyer? Destined for a last place finish? The Nords have show flashes of brilliance mixed with spurts of Squirt B play, and are just looking for the middle ground.

My prediction, Nordiques 5, Maple Leafs 3.

Nordiques outlast Maple Leafs.....again....4-2.

The Maple Leafs(1-6-1) hosted the Nordiques(4-4-0) in the middle game on this glorious December evening. The Leafs were trying to break a 6 game losing streak while the Nordiques were hoping to get over .500 and find some consistent play for the first time all season.

Both teams were nursing a shorter bench than normal with the Nordiques fielding 9 skaters & the Leafs only 8. The Nords were missing a HUGE part of their team with Shawn McGRIDDLE nursing a sore sphincter. The Leafs, powered by smurf juice, came out flying as usual with their intense forecheck, dump & chase mentality & their scruffy & puffy captain Sean "Silver Smurfer" Casavant embarrassing both himself & his team every time his skates hit the ice.

Johnny "Wee Man" Thomas netted the first goal of the game with 8:11 remaining when he and Kirt "The Mute 2" Johnson broke in on Kelly "Defensive Liability" Park. Johnson made a nice pass across the top of the crease past Park who had a brain fart and turned the wrong way, right onto Thomas' stick for the open netter. The Nord's Roger Phillips, who was picked up at his nursing home right before the game, roofed one on Kenny "Swiss Cheese" Lallier with 3:26 left in the first. With only 1:23 remaining in the first period, "Turnover" Park, whiffed on a pass as the last man back in the zone, sending Josh "Spicoli" Hardy in all alone. Park was able to dive and knock the puck out off of his stick, but took a tripping call for his efforts setting up a Maple Leafs power play. It only took 13 seconds for the Leafs to capitalize as Johnny Thomas knocked in a Joey "The Original Mute" Hayes rebound from the top of the crease to put the Leafs up 2-1.

END OF THE FIRST: Maple Leafs 2, Nords 1.
SHOTS: Maple Leafs: 9, Nords 9

The second period was a battle, with both teams focusing on good defensive zone coverage, breakouts & getting the puck in deep. The "Silver Smurfer" took the only penalty of the period with a holding call at 10:11. Of course the Nords SHODDY power play couldn't gel, and actually ended up in more activity for the Leafs than it did for the Nords. The Nordiques finally broke through on Lallier with 2:15 remaining in the period as Park fed O'Neil cross ice with a breakout pass, O'Neil made a great indirect pass up the near boards to a streaking Ian "The Snaggle Toothed Stickhandler" Coates. Coates broke into the zone on his backhand and surprised a Lallier with a rifle of a backhand that somehow beat Lallier right in the middle of the net. I could be wrong, but I don't think so. The Old Man, Phillips, netted his 2nd of the night only 35 seconds later when he batted in a Mike O'Neil rebound off of Lallier's stick.

END OF THE SECOND: Maple Leafs 2, Nords 3.
SHOTS: Maple Leafs 16, Nords 21

The third period was more of the same. Both teams battling to NOT make a mistake, until Johnny Thomas took a bad hooking call just 1:53 into the 3rd. The Nordiques struggled to get good "penetration" in the Leafs zone, but finally did so with just under a minute left on the power play. Greg "OVERLY SENSITIVE ONE" Marsh took a pass in the near corner from Coates who was covering for Park at the point. Marshy saw Mikey "I love my reflection" O'Neil in front of the net "battling like 6 or 7 guys"(Mike O'Neil) and Park on the far post, and fired a hard pass hit some skates in front and died in the crease where Park expertly pulled it between a pair of legs and deposited it in the back of the net past a downed Lallier. O'Neil later contacted the webmaster looking for an assist on the play, probably because he was embarrassed that he has less points than a defenseman on his team, but the webmaster would not budge.....not one bit. Although, if it were anyone BUT O'Neil I probably would have done it. That goal put the Nords up by 2, and they set their speed on cruise control and let superstar goaltender "Temper Tantrum" Turner collect his 5th win of the season.

END OF REGULATION: Maple Leafs 2, Nords 4.
SHOTS: Maple Leafs 29, Nords 28

 

Team:	Time:	Type:	Player:	Details:
WHL	00:00	Goal	Thomas, John(1)	Assist(s): Johnson, Kirt(1)
NDQ	00:00	Goal	Phillips, Roger(1)	Assist(s): Marsh, Greg(1) Nightingale, Poli(1)
WHL	00:00	Goal	Thomas, John(1)	Assist(s): Hayes, Joe(1) Hardy, Josh(1)
NDQ	00:00	Goal	Coates, Ian(1)	Assist(s): Park, Kelly(1) O'Neil, Michael(1)
NDQ	00:00	Goal	Phillips, Roger(1)	Assist(s): O'Neil, Michael(1) Coates, Ian(1)
NDQ	00:00	Goal	Park, Kelly(1)	Assist(s): Coates, Ian(1) Marsh, Greg(1)
WHL	00:00	Penalty	Hardy, Josh(1)	2 minutes for Tripping
NDQ	00:00	Penalty	Park, Kelly(1)	2 minutes for Tripping
NDQ	00:00	Penalty	Park, Kelly(1)	2 minutes for Tripping
WHL	00:00	Penalty	Casavant, Sean(1)	2 minutes for Holding
WHL	00:00	Penalty	Thomas, John(1)	2 minutes for Hooking
WHL	00:00	Penalty	Johnson, Kirt(1)	2 minutes for Holding
WHL	00:00	Penalty	Casavant, Sean(1)	2 minutes for Hooking

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Game Comments:
kpark Quechee, VT Registered: Dec 2003 Posts: 724	Good times Dec 6th, 2007 04:33 PM I always like playing the Leafs. Clean, fun hockey. Good group of guys....mostly smurfs, but still good guys. They play hard and leave everything on the table. Good game guys.
scasnh Grantham, NH Registered: Oct 2005 Posts: 27	good times Dec 7th, 2007 11:59 AM Kelly, thanks for the kind comments. We always like playing the Nords too. No other team has such a great mix of wasted talents! You have a goalie who has a standing emergency appointment at his shrink every Wednesday morning. A giant mutant meat cutter who goes down on the ice more often than you talk about yourself. A gay captain. The defenseman in the league with the largest circumference and the highest percent BBSC (Blood Buffalo Sauce Concentration). A middle aged superstar dentist, who's under investigation for insurance fraud. A small speedy right winger who would actually be good if he would stop looking at his own reflection in the glass for a minute. The son of an NHL icon, who's only contribution to the sport is the worst haircut in history. A guy named Poli? A future doctor who clearly wasn't paying attention in class when they lectured about the bad effects of anabolic steroid use. And you, Kelly, yes you. What can I say? You are one of the most talented hockey players that I have EVER been on the ice with. It's just too bad that your ego, your unprecidented laziness, and you mouth get in the way of you contributing to you team in any constuctive manner. You should be cut from the team and just hang them up and save yourself and your teammates the embarrasment that you bring with you. Oh, I almost forgot, your best player and hardest guy to play against is missing all kinds of teeth and looks like he's homeless! To anyone I forgot to mention I am sorry that you have to play with Kelly. And, no Dakai, I didn't forget you, I just don't want to write anything that will get me pounded into a bloody pulp. Tom, you are a very good looking man and are a great hockey player........and I really mean that! Peace out Nords, it was a fun game the other night. Sincerely, SS
kpark Quechee, VT Registered: Dec 2003 Posts: 724	Wow Dec 7th, 2007 01:02 PM You know what Cass. I've never said anything so hurtful to you. YES, I have called you a talentless little twerp, smurf look-alike contest winning, chubby, mutant ninja turtle little geek, but I've never told you to hang them up. I cried a little bit and then I thought to myself, oh shit, who is this guy again? I couldn't remember your name, or really what you looked like. Oh well, what can you do. You may have been wrong about me, and I'll forgive you on that one, but you were SPOT ON about the rest of my useless team. I can't wait to CRUSH you on Sunday night. You better get some more of those little smurf-like Troll Maple Leafs to show up. KAP OUT
The Dark Canuck Fairlee, VT Registered: Dec 2004 Posts: 340	I agree with Kelly Dec 7th, 2007 03:04 PM I'll let the fall-down comment slide. The rest was pretty fuckin hilarious. Kell definitely DOES have a lot of talent, but he got such a rush of blood to his penis when John Thomas made him look like a friggin pylon, he nearly passed out. Maybe he'll stop trashing us and be a little harder on himself. He literally gave you guys at least two goals, sending the rest of us into cardiac arrest. By the way Cass, you too are a beautiful man yourself, scruffy beard, beer belly and all. Great game pal!
kpark Quechee, VT Registered: Dec 2003 Posts: 724	PYLON?!?!? Dec 7th, 2007 04:49 PM PYLON?!?!?? PYLON?!??!? Ok, he made me look like a pilon. It was more or less that I looked like a fucking retard on that play. I used to be so good at 2 on 1s. My game is going down the shitter and I'm almost in the sewers with Casavant's game now. SO SAD!!! Another 10 or 12 years and I'll have sunk to his level.