UPPER VALLEY HOCKEY LEAGUE

ODDS:	Brewers by 2 goals
OVER/UNDER:	10.5 goals

The lowly Nordiques host the lowely-as-of-late Brewers in this battle of two teams that desperately need a big win. The Nordiques(3-4-0) with a dreadful 21 goals for in 7 games, are coming off of back to back losses to Tuck & The Storm Kings. The Brewers(4-2-1) are also coming off of back to back losses to the Storm Kings & Bruins, but are at least averaging over 4.5 goals per game.

With the return of Nicholas "Dr. McPudPuller" Bayley, the Brewers should be geared up to put up some offense, while the Nordiques are just looking to stop the bleeding until the possible return of their savior, Willy Meyer.

Nordiques ride a 4 goal first to a 7-5 win over SINKING Brew Crew.

The Nordiques(3-4-0) hosted the Brewers(4-2-1) in the early game of week 8. Both teams were coming off of back to back losses and needed a jump start to get their seasons back on track. The Nordiques were looking to find some offense since they were only averaging 3.0 goals per game on the season, while the Brewers were looking for some defense & goaltending, having given up 13 goals against in their past 2.

The first period started off slow,while both teams were feeling each out out, not trying to make any mistakes. The Nordiques struck first with 9:22 remaining as Kelly "ZERO GOALS AGAINST" Park carried the puck through the neutral zone and gave Davey "Quick Sand" Willis a drop pass at the blue line. Willis made a quick move and dished to Poli "THE NIGHTMARE" Nightingale all alone at the far side of the slot. The Nightmare beat Petey "The Shooter Tutor's Red Headed Step Child" Bartline blocker side with what seemed to be a time stopping flutter puckin' 3.5 MPH shot.

The teams battled for the next 8 minutes without any results until the Nords cashed in with 3 goals in the last 1 one minute and 21 seconds. Tommy "I don't know his last name" New Guy cashed in on a wide open net when Danny "Frodo Baggins" Jones found him all alone in front. Roger "AARP Card Carrier" Phillips buried a pass from "The New Guy" with just under a minute to go. With only 1.6 seconds remaining in the period, everyone on the ice just gave up as they saw Dr. Shawn "McWhistleBlower" McDermott get the puck at the point, thinking that he woulld obviously not do anything productive with it. I saw McDermott & Bartline lock gazes as McDermott teed up with a purpose......to score his first goal ever as a man. Shawn did have 547 goals as a woman in the early 90's. McBuffaloWings wound up, unobstructed with a clear view of that giant sieve bag Bartline and let one rip right off the glove side post and in. I would like to point out that Bartline saw it all the way, he just couldn't catch up to it. I would also like to add that McDermott pulled a statue of liberty after scoring that goal......I know it's your first goal since the mid-90's but come on.....it was only the first period.....kind of lame! End of the first 4-0 Nordiques. SHOTS: Nordiques 11, Brewers 6.

The Brewers came out flying at the beginning of the first and capitalized when Drew "Captain Turnover" Crapser tried to make a pass from the far corner to his defensive partner behind the net. The puck hit the side of the net, where Chris "Rut-Vegas' Own" Adams picked up the puck and easily wrapped it in on a confused, bewildered & pissed John "Anger Management" Turner. The Brewers got within 2 on another Nords defenseman turnover when Adrien "The Mullet" Melrose flubbed a pass at central ice. Nick "Isaac's Arch-Nemesis" Bayley picked up the puck, danced around at the top of the Nords zone and fired a shot through a screen, beating Turner low stick side.

The Nordiques got back on track with 6:39 remaining when Ian "Midas Touch" Coates rushed in with "The New Guy" on a 2 on 1. "The New Guy" dished it to Coates at the top of the crease, where he tipped the puck towards the net, roofing it over a downed Bartline. "The New Guy" had another nice assist when he found "The Mullet" alone in front just 41 seconds later to put the Nords up 6-2. Christian "Bayley's Nemesis" Isaac beat Turner upper deck, blocker side with 3:40 remaining in the period on a nice pass from the Brew Meister Brian Walsh. End of the second, 6-3 Nords. SHOTS: Nordiques 26 Brewers 16

In terms of hockey play, the 3rd period was pretty uneventful.....but in terms of team mates going at one another like some catty little bitches, well then it was right up there with some of the best catty bitch teammate fights. This reporter did not have the enjoyment of seeing Bayley & Isaac almost exchange punches on their own bench over some stupid line change issue, but I wish I had. Apparently they sat on either side of Mike "The Trike" Hickey and argued over who was going to talk to him. Ah, cat fights RULE. Can't we all just get along? If those two could just play hockey together, they'd be nasty, oh well, helps out my team!

On a high note, Baily managed to score twice in 14 seconds to bring the Brewers with one goal and 2:58 remaining. On the first one Bailey "danced through middle - between 2 people, [and beat Turner] glove side." (per the score keepers written re-canting of the play. The second one came on another Drew "Captain Turnover" Crapser turnover, where Bayley intercepted a pass walked to the front of the net where Turner came out to challenge him. Bayley let go a quick shot which he FLUBBED and it accidentally dribbled between Turner's 5-hole. Tao "The Slash" Smith put the game out of reach with 43 seconds remaining buy burying a hail mary open netter. End of regulation, Nords 7-5. SHOTS: Nordiques 33, Brewers 25.

 

Team:	Time:	Type:	Player:	Details:
NDQ	00:00	Goal	Nightingale, Poli(1)	Assist(s): Willis, David(1) Park, Kelly(1)
NDQ	00:00	Goal	Girard, Tommy(1)	Assist(s): Jones, Dan(1)
NDQ	00:00	Goal	Phillips, Roger(1)	Assist(s): Girard, Tommy(1)
NDQ	00:00	Goal	McDermott, Shawn(1)	Assist(s): Smith, Tao(1) Nightingale, Poli(1)
BRE	00:00	Goal	Isaac, Christian(1)	Assist(s): none
BRE	00:00	Goal	Bayley, Nick(1)	Assist(s): none
NDQ	00:00	Goal	Coates, Ian(1)	Assist(s): Girard, Tommy(1)
NDQ	00:00	Goal	Melrose, Adrien(1)	Assist(s): Girard, Tommy(1) Phillips, Roger(1)
BRE	00:00	Goal	Isaac, Christian(1)	Assist(s): Walsh, Brian(1)
BRE	00:00	Goal	Bayley, Nick(1)	Assist(s): Calder, Kevin(1)
BRE	00:00	Goal	Bayley, Nick(1)	Assist(s): none
NDQ	00:00	Goal	Smith, Tao(1)	Assist(s): none
BRE	00:00	Penalty	Bouchard, Henry(1)	2 minutes for Hooking
BRE	00:00	Penalty	Poirier, Garren(1)	2 minutes for Tripping
NDQ	00:00	Penalty	Smith, Tao(1)	2 minutes for High Sticking
BRE	00:00	Penalty	Poirier, Garren(1)	2 minutes for Hooking
NDQ	00:00	Penalty	Park, Kelly(1)	2 minutes for High Sticking

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Game Comments:
mhickey Rutland, AL Registered: Oct 2006 Posts: 13	Kelly Park Prediction Nov 27th, 2007 02:27 PM Kelly Park, in a mass email to the entire Brewer's Squad predicted a 12 goal blow-out, how, is the question, will that happen. I went to the website to check their roster and Will Myers name is still not on their roster so who's going to help Marshy score all those goals you Kelly Hahahahahaha!!!!!!!
hkydoc WRJ, VT Registered: Jan 2004 Posts: 517	McDfense SCOOOOOOOORES! Nov 28th, 2007 03:04 AM Yep, hell hath frozen over. I actually scored a legit goal in a legit game for the first time since March 2005 against a real goaltender. It might have been my best goal EVER on a laser slap shot from the right point that wasn't against a pick-up goalie or a squirt girl's team! I broke a 60 game scoreless streak!
The Dark Canuck Fairlee, VT Registered: Dec 2004 Posts: 340	I knew it Nov 28th, 2007 10:54 PM I never gave up hope McD! It WAS a nice goal, no garbage at all. I know you wouldn't want it that way. If only Myself and O'Neil can get out of our offensive draught. We're dryer than a powdered donut inside a yeast infection! AHHHH DONUUTT!!!!
bayley Hanover, NH Registered: Jan 2007 Posts: 15	Nov 29th, 2007 07:52 PM priceless parky "McBuffaloWings wound up, unobstructed with a clear view of that giant sieve bag Bartline and let one rip right off the glove side post and in. I would like to point out that Bartline saw it all the way, he just couldn't catch up to it. I would also like to add that McDermott pulled a statue of liberty after scoring that goal"
kpark Quechee, VT Registered: Dec 2003 Posts: 724	Thanks bayls Dec 1st, 2007 10:31 AM I think that was some of my best writing. Where the hell is that Giant SIEVE, Bartleby? He can't catch up with a McWhistle slap shot and he goes into hiding? So sad that such a forum legend is too terrified to contribute. Not only has he lost his competitive edge, but also his sense of humor.
hkydoc WRJ, VT Registered: Jan 2004 Posts: 517	Actually, it was blocker side, eh... Dec 3rd, 2007 12:46 PM The goal to end the longest scoring drought in men's league history was actually blocker side about halfway up the post, wicked haaaad off the post, off a one-timer from a pass from the corner that came off the boards perfectly to my well timed laser slap shot - just in case you were misinformed! Yeah, maybe raising the stick was a little lame for a 4-0 goal in the first period, but if you go 60 games give or take without a goal you'd celebrate a bit, too, eh. Big thanks to Tommy Girard for making the trip all the way from Glen's Falls, NY as a guest of my D partner, Adrien "The Mullet" Melrose. Great game, Tom! We hope you'll be back in the UVHL with the Nords soon, eh!