UPPER VALLEY HOCKEY LEAGUE

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Nords victorious in

It was like Christmas when you're 8 years old and Santa is on his way. That was how I felt in the hours approaching Opening Night '06-07 in the UVHL on Oct 10th. And at the end of the night I, too, knew who was good and bad, and naughty and nice. The new UVHL season brings with it plenty of cheer and excitement. Boys and girls giddy with anticipation at the prospects of how much whey will score, and with whom (ahem, no sexual puns intended, you dirty bastards!). Some score more frequently than others, and the quality varies with their skill. Some get shut down quickly only to be denied in their quest for glory, or lose their jocks in the corner. Many find themselves getting the assist as wing-men, while others close the 5-hole and deny all comers. Some are extra naughty and get penalized and must sit in the sin-bin to reflect on their wayward ways. In the "New UVHL" the penalty box was full of bad boys guilty of sinning with their sticks as the refs are forced to break us of our bad habits this season on a holy mandate from USA Hockey above. No longer will the hooking be tolerated! No more holding and grabbing limbs and other body parts in an attempt to obstruct scoring! Speed is of the essence, and it will not be denied any longer by old school or Don Cherry Old Time Hockey tactics. One must keep one's stick to oneself and use their feet to keep up, or be left behind. Like the NHL last season, the crackdown has begun. However, we are not instituting any stupid-ass rules like a frickin' trapeziod in the corner, or a delay of game penalty for a player shooting the puck over the glass...



In the first game of the night a re-match of last season's Whalen Cup final saw the defending UVHL champion Nordiques face-off against the USA Hockey National Championship Finalist Storm Kings to start the new '06-07 UVHL season. New faces were in both line-ups, and both teams were, at least on paper, stronger and deeper than the season before. The Storm Kings now feature Adam Hogg, St. Lawernce's Captain from a year ago now teaching at the famed Cardigan Mountain School, along with his colleague the dangerous Mike Fitzgerald known for his Brett Hull-like slap shot. The tenacious Artie Stout has also joined the Storm Kings and played at Hanover High in the 80's with teammate Tom Scull. Dan Bullock was in a Kingers uniform and comes to us with NCAA experience at Williams College. On the Nordiques the change in faces included both new players and those who are not returning to UVHL play this season. Lost this season are Jason Gaudette, a two-time Whalen Cup champ winger from Ottawa, Dan Coffey, another two-timer and capable center and D, and the UVHL's first woman to skate out, on the wing, to win a UVHL championship, former D1 skater Deanna McDevitt, now a busy coach at KUA. Many excuses were given, but none acceptable. Just kidding (you losers! we'll miss you, eh!). Perhaps Gaudette was tired of his captain, Tao Smith, knocking his teeth out. Twice. In the same season. Maybe the dental bills were too much to afford both teeth and hockey in the same fiscal year, thanks to his own teammate ("Both times it was by accident, I swear!" - T. Smith). Perhaps Coffey decided that endurance sports were more important than uber-violent hockey with a marathon looming in late October, or that his young family needed him at home more than on the ice. Boo-hoo, sniff, sniff. Could it be that the pressures of coaching at the New England powerhouse of Kimbal Union Academy proved to be too powerful to lure McDevitt, who could take a backhand pass like none other in the UVHL, away from her school's rink one night per week to Woodstock? Yeah, sure. Whatever. Life is too short not to play hockey! In any case, the Nordiques will sincerely miss their former teammates with whom they have shared many laughs, beers and wings, and a couple of Whalen Cups (thus far). We wish you all well in your endeavors beyond the confines of Union Arena. Cheers to the victorious departed! Ye shall be missed, and there always be a seat at the end of the bench awaiting your return (in gruff pirate voice, don't ask me why)! New Nords are the returning Dr. Fireball himself, former Dartmouth player in the late 90's, Drew Crapser, re-joining his mates after getting his shit together and realizing he really does have time for hockey while in med school, Peter 'Poke Check' Otto who comes to the UVHL with D3 college experience, and the two-way threat of Ian Bartrum from high school hockey somewhere mysterious (that's code for I don't really know).



There were 3 penalties before a goal was scored in the first match in the New UVHL, and the first to make the scoresheet was Nords assistant captain Tom Dakai guilty of interference at 11:00. Next was Kinger forward Dan Bullock at 9:02 for holding, and then Nords LW Dave Willis for tripping at 8:06 and the Nords PP was cut short. However, the Nords drew first blood of the new season at 4-on-4, and it was none other than the '05-06 League MVP Will Meyer finding the back of the net shorthanded at 7:04 from Crapser. UVHLL leading scorer from last season, the Kings Sean Coakley, got his first of the season at 6:04 from Adam Hogg who garnered his first UVHL point. Next to the sin-bin was Storm Kings co-captain Dean Cashman for hooking at 5:03, and the Kings earned an unassisted shorthanded tally by Coakley at 4:00. Nords shifty center Ian Coates tied the game at 2 apiece with 2:44 to go in the first from linemate Meyer, and it was listed as a SHG but there was no corresponding penalty on the game sheet. The Nords went ahead, supposedly on the PP (but again there was no corresponding penalty on the game sheet...Nice job, Steven! I'm docking your pay 50 cents on Friday, eh!), when Greg Marsh scored with 20 seconds to go from Mike O'Neil and Kelly Park to end the first 3-2 in favor of the Nords. A mere 35 seconds into the next frame Meyer potted his second of the game from O'Neil and Bartrum to make it 4-2. Hogg found another part of the scoresheet at 14:19, but it wasn't the scorebox, it was the penalty box for hooking, and his teammates killed it off for 27 seconds until the penalties were evened up at 13:52 when Crapser went to the box for interference. O'Neil then joined the penalty box parade at 10:56 for hooking that resulted in Bullock's first UVHL goal at 9:04 after he deked Nords D Shawn McDermott out of his jockstrap (McDermott is still looking for it, too) down the left half-boards and pulled JT to the right post and danced around him, too, only to bury a beauty PPG to narrow the gap. Matching minors were doled out to the Nords O'Neil and Kings Greg 'Goose' Gosselin for hooking and high sticking respectively at 7:27. While still at 5-on-5 Willis scored his second of the game at 6:38 from ripped linemate Poli Nightingale and Meyer. The Nords continued with the momentum scoring 42 seconds later when Kelly Park scored the most sick, fucking retarded, talented, individual effort goal of the evening when he grabbed an O'Neil pass off the boards near the red line and fought for possession with a Kings winger, possibly Cashman, won, then went into the neutral zone and tucked it through Coakley, then built up what limited speed he has at his disposal and beat Stout inside the blueline and went in on Frenchy for a beautiful goal. Cheers were heard throughout the rink after that one from teammates, opposing players, and those few in attendance. The score was 6-3 in favor of the Nords about halfway through the game, but the Nords sat back a little and the Kings answered only 11 seconds later at 5:45 when McDermott (again!) let another King have too much room on the left side allowing Kings co-captain, the grizzly coughing veteran Marty White, to take the shot. White absolutely wired a low slapper to the opposite side of the net that JT got with his glove, or so he thought, but the momentum of the momentus slapper carried over through the top of JT's glove and it trickled over the goal line for one that JT said he wanted back to cut the lead back to two. Assisting on the White goal were Bullock and Coakley. The under the weather White got extra power into that shot as he began a coughing fit during the downswing that continued for 17 hours post-game. The Nords lead was again narrowed at 4:45 when Goose found a hole going to the net from feeds from Hogg and Coakley. The Nords started to feel the pressure, and rightly so as the potent Kings offense started to click. Crapser went to the box again at 3:18 for holding, and with the score at a mere 6-5 anything could happen. And it did. Mr. Clutch himself, Will Meyer, scored an unassisted shorty for the Nords at 2:38 after Frenchy thought he had enough room to send one of his trademark passes from the crease up the ice in the air. Meyer read it and timed it perfectly snatching the puck out of the air finding a big hole and the back of the net left by the then out of position netminder to complete the Hat Trick. However, never count out UVHL superstar Sean Coakley who victimized the Nords for his third goal of the night on the same PP at 2:17 to answer Meyer's shorty, from Hogg and Bullock, each getting their third points of the contest. On the play for Coakley's goal McDermott was assessed an interference penalty for clearing Ron Dupius out of the slot, but he still had to go to the box for the double penalization (yes, that's right, we got fucked twice on that one) as Referee-In-Chief Tony Gove quoted multiple USA Hockey regulations at 2:17. Uh-huh. Riiiiiight. But, Fat Bastard has to get on the scoresheet somehow, and we all know it won't be in the scorer's column, so he went to the box and felt shame hoping it wouldn't cost his team another goal or the game to go along with his minus-4 and three fourth assists. In the third things settled down in both the scorebox and penalty box. Artie Stout was assessed an interference penalty at either the end of the second, or beginning of the third at 15:00, but the Kingers adept PK killed it off. Both teams kept threatening for goals, and the Kings trademark puck control game continued. Believe it or not, but Kings veteran F/D John Murphy, aka 'Murf', got his first penalty in the New UVHL late in the third period for holding at 5:10. On the PP Crapser read the clearing attempt and grabbed it out of the air, dropped it down and ripped an unassisted slapper through Frenchy and his newly repaired knee at 4:00. The refs did a fine job instituting the new USA Hockey regulations and set the tone and expectations for the remainder of the season. The scoring ended on a sweet passing play between Nords linemates Greg Marsh, O'Neil, and Park, when O'Neil tapped the puck into the open side on a tic-tac-tic-tac-toe that began in the neutral zone to end it 9-6 for the Nords in a fine beginning for both squads showing both their talent and depth for these Whalen Cup contenders to start the 2006-07 UVHL season off right.

 

Team:	Time:	Type:	Player:	Details:
NDQ	00:00	Goal	Meyer, Will(1)	Assist(s): Crapser, Drew(1)
STK	00:00	Goal	Coakley, Sean(1)	Assist(s): Hogg, Adam(1)
STK	00:00	Goal	Coakley, Sean(1)	Assist(s): none
NDQ	00:00	Goal	Coates, Ian(1)	Assist(s): Meyer, Will(1)
NDQ	00:00	Goal	Willis, David(1)	Assist(s): O'Neil, Michael(1) Park, Kelly(1)
NDQ	00:00	Goal	Meyer, Will(1)	Assist(s): Coates, Ian(1) Bartrum, Ian(1)
STK	00:00	Goal	Bullock, Dan(1)	Assist(s): White, Marty(1) Coakley, Sean(1)
NDQ	00:00	Goal	Willis, David(1)	Assist(s): Nightingale, Poli(1) Meyer, Will(1)
NDQ	00:00	Goal	Park, Kelly(1)	Assist(s): O'Neil, Michael(1)
STK	00:00	Goal	White, Marty(1)	Assist(s): Bullock, Dan(1) Coakley, Sean(1)
STK	00:00	Goal	Gosselin, Greg(1)	Assist(s): Hogg, Adam(1) Coakley, Sean(1)
NDQ	00:00	Goal	Meyer, Will(1)	Assist(s): none
STK	00:00	Goal	Coakley, Sean(1)	Assist(s): Hogg, Adam(1) Bullock, Dan(1)
NDQ	00:00	Goal	Crapser, Drew(1)	Assist(s): none
NDQ	00:00	Goal	O'Neil, Michael(1)	Assist(s): Park, Kelly(1) Marsh, Greg(1)
NDQ	00:00	Penalty	Dakai, Tom(1)	2 minutes for Interference
STK	00:00	Penalty	Bullock, Dan(1)	2 minutes for Holding
NDQ	00:00	Penalty	Marsh, Greg(1)	2 minutes for Tripping
STK	00:00	Penalty	Cashman, Dean(1)	2 minutes for Hooking
STK	00:00	Penalty	Hogg, Adam(1)	2 minutes for Hooking
NDQ	00:00	Penalty	Crapser, Drew(1)	2 minutes for Interference
NDQ	00:00	Penalty	O'Neil, Michael(1)	2 minutes for Hooking
NDQ	00:00	Penalty	Smith, Tao(1)	2 minutes for High Sticking
STK	00:00	Penalty	Cashman, Dean(1)	2 minutes for Slashing
NDQ	00:00	Penalty	Crapser, Drew(1)	2 minutes for Holding
NDQ	00:00	Penalty	McDermott, Shawn(1)	2 minutes for Interference
STK	00:00	Penalty	Stout, Artie(1)	2 minutes for Interference
STK	00:00	Penalty	Murphy, John(1)	2 minutes for Holding

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