THE

UPPER VALLEY HOCKEY LEAGUE

April 6th, 2010 - 7:10PM
Campion Rink - West Lebanon, NH
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Game ID: 661

Nordiques advance to the finals, beat Tuck 7-5

Another epic battle in the UVHL took place in the first semi-final game of the night. The 2nd placed Nordiques faced off against the 3rd placed Tuckies. Tuck had advanced by beating the last placed Dead River squad in a shootout 4-3, while the Nordiques had a casual scrimmage / BYE game against the top ranked Gamblers. The Nordiques were favored by a goal in this one seeing as they had beaten Tuck 3 out of 4 games this season, much to the dismay of the UVHL's resident Retard Chris "Pick 'Em" Johnson who said "The Nordiques don't have a chance, this one won't even be close!" Johnson couldn't have been more incorrect as the Nordiques jumped out to a quick lead and held on for a 7-5 win including an empty netter.

This one was hailed as a "Battle of the Goaltenders", and in some ways was despite the 13 goals scored. The Nordique's Johnny "Temper Tantrum Time Piece" Turner & Tuck's Dan "The Man" Yacey both let in some softies as well as mading some huge saves. Neither goalie looked completely comfortabled, but there were also some very nice goals that they didn't have a chance on.

The Nordiques Kevin "Dr. Masshole" Dwyer was at his best as he notched 2 goals & 2 assists. Dwyer is currently getting his Masters Degree in "Toe-Dragging Tuckies" at Dartmouth. Also having a nice night for the Nordiques were Jordan McGee(2g, 1a) & Roger "The Rusty Old Dentist Drill" Phillips (2a). Tuck's offensive was clicking in the 2nd half of the game with Halsey "Turn Your Head And" Coughlin terrorizing the Nordiques with a goal, assist and 6 PIMs. Also contributing for Tuck was their defensive gem, Andrew "Whack A Nord" Helming who had a beautiful goal, assist and left about 15 bruises on Nordique's forearms & hands from some flagrant stick fouls.

The Nordiques scored the first goal of the game just over 3 minutes in when Jimmy "Nancy" Kerrigan threw a backhander from the highslot right on the stick of McGee at the top of the crease. Yacey was going down to play the shot, allowing McGee to take a step to the far post and roof the puck. Despite the first goal, Tuck dominated the Nordiques in the first 3 shifts of the game to the point where the Nordiques were contemplating using their timeout to settle their nerves and get back to playing some good hockey. After the initial goal, the Nords pounded Tuck into submission, as the Tuckies seemed to still have a championship hangover from winning the Harvard Business School tournament 9 days earlier.

Kevin "Diddly-Doo" Dwyer made an end-to-end rush, cutting through center ice as if there wasn't a Tuck player in sight, before turning Tuck's Ryuji "Gooch" Kikuchi inside out with a toe-drag and then making Yacey look like a squirt goalie with a quick move across the crease. "You just can't teach those moves..." said Dwyer, "It is a gift from God."

Johnny "Temper Tantrum" Turner allowed a softie to Tony Cape just 23 seconds after Dwyer's goal. Technically it was a perfectly placed shot from Cape, but a softie for Turner as he is usually on his angles and makes that routine save. Cape took a pass from Stevie "Wonder" Bates and broke in on a 2 on 1 and fired a very quick wrister from the faceoff dot inside the near post. Asked about the goal in between periods Cape said, "You just can't teach that...It's a gift from God."

The Nordiques notched another pair of goals in the last 1:08 of the first when Dwyer found both Greg "The Menace" Marsh & Tao "" Smith. Marsh took his pass at the hashmarks and beat Yacey with a squeeker through his 5-hole, one that Yacey admitted he would love to have back. Smith took his feed from Dwyer at the left point, skated along the blue line cutting in on his forehand and firing a hard wrister high glove side on Yacey. There may have been a partial screen there, and I've never actually seen Smith lift the puck or actually shoot anything that hard, but another one Yacey would like to have back. "This was actually the first time I took a shot with my eyes open....and looked at where the net was. I'm just as shocked as you are....I can't wait to go home and tell my 15 children about this glorious night." said Smith.

END OF THE FIRST PERIOD: Nordiques 4, Tuck 1

The 2nd period opened up a completely new game, bringing to life the true spirit of playoff hockey. The first frame didn't see any penalties called, but Tuck was clearly angry and set the mood early stating WE WILL NOT GO DOWN WITHOUT A FIGHT. Unfortunately that mentality put Tuck's Coughlin in the box at 12:27 for a pretty solid hook. On the ensuing Power Play, it only took 37 seconds for the Nord's to tic-tac-toe their way to one of the prettiest goals of the night as Phillips curled at the near point and found McGee down below the goal line in the near corner. McGee took 2 strides to the front of the net and hit Dwyer with a sweet pass through the crease for the goal. McGee made it 6-1 with the Nordique's 4th consecutive goal as he took a pass at center ice, split the defense and let a shot go from the tops of the circles that somehow made it's way through Yacey and in. "It wasn't the prettiest goal, but it's in!" recanted McGee.

It was around this point when the tides started to shift. Maybe it was the VERY comfortable 6-1 lead that the Nordiques thought was in the bag or maybe Tuck just decided to wake up. You know what they say about hockey....a 5 goal lead is the hardest to keep. Andy "The Hellion" Helming made it 6-2 just 20 seconds after McGee scored for the Nordiques as he took a beautiful cross-ice pass at center ice from Jimmy "Mays" Hay. Helming turned on the jets cutting down the far boards and beat Turner with a LASER from the faceoff dot, up and under the crossbar. "Honestly, I don't even know what to say....I think Turner played it perfectly, there couldn't have been more than 2 inches to shoot at. It was a nasty f*cking goal." said Kelly "The Turnover" Park just after getting walked around by Helming for the goal. Park went off the ice in shame, only to make another mistake on his next shift. The mistake started with a great defensive play on Coughlin who tried to toe-drag around Park on a 1 on 1, but Park stopped the play and went to pick up the puck heading to the corner with a Tuckie right on him. Park threw a lame puck off the glass trying for a quick clear, but the lame duck was picked out of mid-air by Coughlin at the tops of the circles. Coughlin then spun around and let a hard snapper fly through a screen, beating Turner off the post blocker side.....uh oh....Nordiques 6, Tuck 3.

END OF THE SECOND PERIOD: Nordiques 6, Tuck 3

The 3rd period was all Tuck as they outshot the Nordiques 19-3. A bad interference penalty from Park at 10:02 saw Tuck cut the lead to 2 goals when a Helming point shot was tipped by Johnny Clifford past Turner with 9:43 to play. The Nordiques looked exhausted and completely content with trying to sit on their lead, until Jimmy "Mays" Hay turned a goaltender-defensemen-referee mishap into a 6-5 game. The play came with 3:49 to play and a simple high dump-in on Turner from Jordy Barnett. Turner jumped in the air awkwardly to grab the puck, holding it to his chest and waiting for a whistle as two Nordique defensemen & Hay came in on him. "I don't know what I was thinking" said Turner, "I held onto that puck forever and thinking the play was over and the ref was about to blow the whistle, so I was dropping the puck from my chest into my glove and it fell to the ice." The Nordiques defensemen let Hay split them and throw the loose puck in the net.

The Nordiques were officially in panic mode with just under 4 minutes to play. Tuck continued to dominate, but the game was sealed with 15 seconds to go when Nord's defenseman Mike "Man-Crush" O'Neil picked off a long pass at center ice and fired a quick 90 footer into the empty net.

END OF REGULATION: Nordiques 7, Tuck 5
LEAGUE PICK 'EM
 50%
Nordiques
50% 
Tuck
6 PICKS
THREE STARS

Kevin Dwyer

GOALS: 2
POINTS: 4

Jordan McGee

GOALS: 2
POINTS: 3

Andrew Helming

GOALS: 1
POINTS: 2

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