UPPER VALLEY HOCKEY LEAGUE

ODDS:	Brewers by 2
OVER/UNDER:	9 goals

The Brewers & Whalers are both coming off of huge wins last week and hope to carry that momentum into week 15. The Whalers shocked the world with a 3-2 win over Dead River in a shocker that had Dead River alumni Dan French vomiting in his cereal the next morning when word finally reached Norwich, VT. All kidding aside, the Whalers are a VASTLY improved team, and finally seem to have figured out their 3rd period woes.

The Brewers continued their dominance over the inconsistent Nordiques with a solid 5-3 (open netter) win. The Brewers, who started the season 0-3, have battled back to a 7-7 record. Despite losing 3 of their last 4, they are a dangerous opponent, and if Pete "The Meat" Bartline gets his daily dose of gay porn before gametime, he is VERY FOCUSED.

If the Whalers can continue their team game, and protect their own end, this should be a close one. In that case, the Brewers will win by 2 goals, 5-3 or 6-4.

Brewers Explode in the 3rd for 4-1 win over the Whalers

The streaking Whalers came into week 15 on a 3 game tear (2-0-1) including a shootout win over the top rated Gamblers and shootout loss to a very good Tuck team. The Brewers were sitting at a healthy 7-7-0 and a solid 5-3 win over the Nordiques the week before. Both teams were starting their backups tonight, with the Whaler's Kenny "Red Light" Lallier out of town at a greenskeepers conference in Boca Raton and the Brewer's Petey Bartline was also in Boca but attending a seminar on "Sensual Love Making for 1". In net for the Brewers was Matty "The Crow" Crowson who was almost perfect, turning away 27 shots. At the other end was Tim "Harry Potter" Chapp who let in 3 goals he really had no opportunity to save.

Definitely a game of bounces, the play was quick and the win could have gone either way, especially early in the game. Prior to the initial puck drop, Brewer's winger Billy "The Man Child" Fletcher stated to the referees "I am the cleanest player in the league and never take penalties" only to take 4 minutes in the first period. His first penalty for roughing coming just 30 seconds in giving the Whalers an opportunity to jump out ahead, but a couple of missed open netters stung as the penalty came to an end. One of the open netters was more blatant than the others as Liam "Sean Avery" Oliver wishes he could have it back. One Whaler teammate was quoted as saying "He's not on the team for his goal scoring!" And "Avery's" reputation preceded him, as every time he crashed the net, the Brewer's were on high alert, angry and forcefully removed him. The Brewer's got on the scoresheet first on a beautiful tick-tack-toe play when Chris "Turtle" Johnson took a turnover at center ice and carried the puck down the far boards. CJ made a beautiful diagonal drop pass through a defender to Joey "Crazy Eyes" Lyle at the top of the right circle. Lyle made a quick move to the boards, cut in at the faceoff dot and hit Fletcher on the backdoor onetimer for the 1-0. All of that happened within 5 or 6 seconds, and was executed so well, it looked like they had gone over that play in a pre-game meeting.

The second period was a wash, as neither team scored. The only stat worthy note would be that.....SURPRISE SURPRISE, Garren "Tim McCracken" Poirier took a penalty for hooking. This was his first of 3 penalties on the night which officially put him at #2 on the all time season penalty minutes list with 55 minutes. Poirier is just 10 minutes away from a new single season record and 8 games to play. Will he be able to hook, hold & assault his way to the single season record?!?!? Vegas says that it is a 100% chance.

The Brewers jumped out to a 2-0 lead just 1:57 into the 3 period on a Dan "Chubby Hubby" Charette blast from the point. Aaron "Manicotti" Mancuso put the Brew Crew up 3-1 on a fluke goal that deflected off of a defender at the tops of the circles, flew about 25 feet up in the air, and came down on the back of the Whaler's goaltender before rolling down into the net. "Metaphorically and literally, that made it rain on our team" says rookie blueliner Jon "Trojan" Stallsmith. The Whalers looked defeated after the fluke goal put them in an 0-3 hole, but managed to pull themselves out of the mud and continue to compete. Jay "The Zamboni" Zanleoni finally broke through on Crowson with 5:16 to play on a quick snapper but then was thrown in the box a couple minutes later for roughing with fellow referee CJ. "I like CJ, so I was just messing with him and giving him a little hook and jab, nothing too serious, and the guy takes it serious and drops his gloves like he is going to do something" said Zanleoni after the game while enjoying a healthy lager at Bentleys Bar. Zanleoni didn't take the bait to fight, probably because he would have absolutely destroyed CJ and could possibly end up in prison. Zanleoni, at 6'1" tall and 220 lbs easily has 8 inches and 15 lbs on the short but squat Johnson. As Zanleoni contemplated life in the box, Brewer's enforcer Joey "Crazy Eyes" Lyle casually skated over and chatted him up, asking if he wanted to "go" when he got out of the box. It was a very classy thing to do, because you know......every men's league team needs a good enforcer to threaten and intimidate their opponents. Yes, that was sarcasm.

Commenting on the Johnson / Zanleoni incident, one Whalers player commented "it's worth noting that while Chris Johnson is the most recognizable player on the Tennessee Titans, CJ gave us his best impression of their former most reconizable player: Pacman Jones. It remains to be seen how the Commissioner and his sidekick McDiscipline will crack down on Pacman's latest infraction." I just had to add that in there, too amusing of an analogy to leave out. A Brewer's response was "Man, I've never seen a guy's gloves just accidentally slip off his hands like that....he must have used too much lube earlier in the day."

The game ended with Johnson leaving the box and scoring an empty netter to seal the deal and put the Brewers back up above .500.

 

Team:	Time:	Type:	Player:	Details:
1st PERIOD
BRE	14:30	Penalty	Fletcher, Bill(3)	2 minutes for Roughing
WHL	12:52	Penalty	Gaede, Chuck(1)	2 minutes for Hooking
BRE	09:55	Penalty	Fletcher, Bill(4)	2 minutes for Hooking
BRE	01:25	Goal	Fletcher, Bill(14)	Assist(s): Lyle, Joe(1) Johnson, Chris(13)
2nd PERIOD
BRE	11:35	Penalty	Poirier, Garren(19)	2 minutes for Hooking
3rd PERIOD
BRE	13:03	Goal	Charette, Dan(1)	Assist(s): Johnson, Chris(14)
BRE	12:39	Penalty	Poirier, Garren(20)	2 minutes for Holding
WHL	09:48	Penalty	Gaede, Chuck(2)	2 minutes for Body Checking
BRE	07:42	Goal	Mancuso, Aaron(5)	Assist(s): Sorrentino, Alfonse(2) Yehle, Jason(4)
WHL	05:16	Goal	Zanleoni, Jay(8)	Assist(s): Leger, Scott(2) Gaede, Chuck(7)
BRE	02:44	Penalty	Yehle, Jason(5)	2 minutes for Body Checking
BRE	02:36	Penalty	Johnson, Chris(4)	2 minutes for Roughing
WHL	02:36	Penalty	Zanleoni, Jay(4)	2 minutes for Roughing
BRE	02:08	Penalty	Poirier, Garren(21)	2 minutes for Body Checking
BRE	00:03	Goal	Johnson, Chris(5)	Assist(s): none

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Game Comments:
Z-Skate White River Jct, VT Registered: Posts: 108	No Love for the Whale .. Jan 26th, 2010 10:35 AM yes, we are in the basement but common'man .. I think we will pull another one out tonight as long as we don't let Scotty and Stevie start b/c that will guarantee a goal for the Brewcrew w/in 30 seconds.
kpark Quechee, VT Registered: Dec 2003 Posts: 723	Mad Love for the Whale!!! Jan 26th, 2010 10:44 AM IN RESPONSE TO: BY: Z-Skate yes, we are in the basement but common'man .. I think we will pull another one out tonight as long as we don't let Scotty and Stevie start b/c that will guarantee a goal for the Brewcrew w/in 30 seconds. I have nothing but high expectations for the Whale....BUT, that being said, you are still in the basement and the Brewers have beaten you in both contests this season. Although....you are 2-0-1 in your last 3. I may need to change my Pick 'em over to the Whale for tonight. KP
JTStally Hanover, NH Registered: Posts: 159	STILL No Love for the Whale... Jan 26th, 2010 03:51 PM Too funny, I went to click on "Discussion" and said to myself "still no love for the whale," and look at Jay's post! I agree with Jay, Kelly, you make it out to seem like our win over Dead River was an upset for the ages, when really it was the No. 6 team beating the No. 5 team, and we're within one point of DR. Might I remind you that the week before we held a lead over the Gamblers with less than a second left, and STILL prevailed in OT. Also, as a defenseman, I take it personally that "if" the defense can play well, we're only expected to give up 5 or 6 goals. If that's considered playing well for us Whaler D, perhaps I should start skating on Thursdays instead.
JTStally Hanover, NH Registered: Posts: 159	Vermont Beers Jan 26th, 2010 03:54 PM Also, just for the record, I think Magic Hat makes a better brew than Long Trail.
kpark Quechee, VT Registered: Dec 2003 Posts: 723	STALLY! Jan 26th, 2010 04:04 PM IN RESPONSE TO: BY: JTStally Also, just for the record, I think Magic Hat makes a better brew than Long Trail. First things first, you may want to wear some extra padding tonight, there are a ton of Long Trail enthusiasts that may take exception to your last comment! Secondly, consistency has never been the strong suit of the Whale. Especially late in games. Although, the mid-season addition of a TROJAN, seems to have had some sort of stimulating effect on a limp Whalers squad, filling their lifeless bodies with warm blood and looking to unload their shots in any open hole......get it, you were a Trojan?!?!? Lame, I know. Thirdly, maybe I'm trying to light a fire under the Whaler's collective asses. Mad respect for the Whalers though, who have reversed the role from "Lovable Drunken Loosers just looking for some fun" to a "Talented & Competitive Hockey Team".
JTStally Hanover, NH Registered: Posts: 159	Still Drinking Jan 26th, 2010 04:14 PM Oh, don't worry, I got exactly where you were going with that! And, make no mistake, we still like to be lovable drunks, we just prefer to do so on Magic Hat or Switchback...not Long Trail :)
Z-Skate White River Jct, VT Registered: Posts: 108	last week .. Jan 26th, 2010 04:16 PM IN RESPONSE TO: BY: JTStally Too funny, I went to click on "Discussion" and said to myself "still no love for the whale," and look at Jay's post! I agree with Jay, Kelly, you make it out to seem like our win over Dead River was an upset for the ages, when really it was the No. 6 team beating the No. 5 team, and we're within one point of DR. Might I remind you that the week before we held a lead over the Gamblers with less than a second left, and STILL prevailed in OT. Also, as a defenseman, I take it personally that "if" the defense can play well, we're only expected to give up 5 or 6 goals. If that's considered playing well for us Whaler D, perhaps I should start skating on Thursdays instead. I am not saying last week was an epic win but being in the basement, when you win, you pull it off b/c you aren't expected to win.
Z-Skate White River Jct, VT Registered: Posts: 108	Dirty Kp .. dirty .. Jan 26th, 2010 04:18 PM IN RESPONSE TO: BY: kpark First things first, you may want to wear some extra padding tonight, there are a ton of Long Trail enthusiasts that may take exception to your last comment! Secondly, consistency has never been the strong suit of the Whale. Especially late in games. Although, the mid-season addition of a TROJAN, seems to have had some sort of stimulating effect on a limp Whalers squad, filling their lifeless bodies with warm blood and looking to unload their shots in any open hole......get it, you were a Trojan?!?!? Lame, I know. Thirdly, maybe I'm trying to light a fire under the Whaler's collective asses. Mad respect for the Whalers though, who have reversed the role from "Lovable Drunken Loosers just looking for some fun" to a "Talented & Competitive Hockey Team". I think you need to go release some .. thing?!
Z-Skate White River Jct, VT Registered: Posts: 108	Magic Hat Jan 26th, 2010 04:19 PM IN RESPONSE TO: BY: JTStally Also, just for the record, I think Magic Hat makes a better brew than Long Trail. Long Trail is to Magic Hat what Keystone is to Coors - The bottom of the basement.
kpark Quechee, VT Registered: Dec 2003 Posts: 723	Magic Hat Jan 26th, 2010 04:27 PM IN RESPONSE TO: BY: Z-Skate Long Trail is to Magic Hat what Keystone is to Coors - The bottom of the basement. Settle down ladies! Magic Hat gives me the shits!
Z-Skate White River Jct, VT Registered: Posts: 108	.. Jan 26th, 2010 04:28 PM IN RESPONSE TO: BY: kpark Settle down ladies! Magic Hat gives me the shits! No I think it's the blue cheese from McD's tongue giving you the shits .. If I have a choice I would prefer Blue
hkydoc WRJ, VT Registered: Jan 2004 Posts: 517	GREAT write-up! Feb 1st, 2010 06:52 PM HA HA HA! I LOVED the one about Bartline's seminar, Crazy Eyes Lyle, the sarcasm, the non-fight, and the post-game quotes. Nice job, Parky! McD
JTStally Hanover, NH Registered: Posts: 159	Write Up Feb 1st, 2010 07:18 PM IN RESPONSE TO: BY: hkydoc HA HA HA! I LOVED the one about Bartline's seminar, Crazy Eyes Lyle, the sarcasm, the non-fight, and the post-game quotes. Nice job, Parky! McD I agree. Well written Kelly. One technicality, the fluke goal was the second goal the blast from the circle was the third for the Brew Crew. I'll let it slide though because of the depth of the article. It's like you were on the ice for this game...
JTStally Hanover, NH Registered: Posts: 159	Attendance Feb 1st, 2010 07:20 PM IN RESPONSE TO: BY: JTStally I agree. Well written Kelly. One technicality, the fluke goal was the second goal the blast from the circle was the third for the Brew Crew. I'll let it slide though because of the depth of the article. It's like you were on the ice for this game... One other technicality, I counted the attendance at 2, not 28,337. I assume you decided to round up? :)