UPPER VALLEY HOCKEY LEAGUE

ODDS:	Brewers by 4
OVER/UNDER:	12 goals

The Brewers (3-0-0) host the Whalers (1-2-0) to start off week 4. A spy within the Brewers organization has passed along some vital information regarding their game plan tonight, "....let's put a couple in the net tonight and then run the clock down so that we can get to the bar by 8pm. I've already called ahead and ordered 15 strawberry daiquiris & 7 hot fudge Sundaes for us all split. Oh, and if anyone ices the puck, Bartline gets to spank you 5 times." That quote was pulled directly from an email that was intercepted this morning.

On the other hand, the Whaler's might be getting their lead smurf back, Sean "The Porto-Potty" Casavant. Casavant was undergoing a very delicate procedure that was expected to give him about 3 or 4 inches to his height, making him 3 foot 9 instead of 3 foot 6. Casavant is a catalyst for the Whalers and has been sorely missed through the first 3. The Whalers will also need Kenny "The Wall" Lallier to step up and keep his team in the game against the high powered Brewers. Lallier, who is aging like a fine cheese, has been less than stellar, boasting a gaudy 8.00 GAA. The Whalers also need to focus on their own end first. Get the puck out and do NOT make any mistakes against the talented forwards of the Brew Crew.

The Brewers, are backboned by Pete "The Meat" Bartline, who has been solid (4.67 GAA, 3-0-0). They have found some solid goal scoring from newcomers "Flying" Bill Fletcher (9g, 4a)and Brock "The Boy Toy" Barton(4g, 2a). Not to mention how good Chris "Big" Johnson thinks he is. The Brewers are also solid in their own end with Sean "The Ladies Man" McCabe, Dan "Chubby" Charrette, Garren "Slim" Poirier and Kevin "Crowbar" Calder.

This one will start out how it always does, the Whalers will play tough hockey in the first, keep it close and possibly even jump out to a quick lead. They will then tire themselves out by the second period and completely lose their bowels in their own end resulting in a slight downhill tilt towards their own net. The third will be ALL Brewers as they put the Whalers out of misery......8-4.

The Whale is ALIVE!!!!....... With a Solid 4-2 Win Over Undefeated Brewers

The undefeated Burpin' Brewers of Bridgewater(3-0-0) looked to stay perfect against the Wicked Wobbly Whalers(1-2-0). The Brewers had made quick work of their first 3 opponents, outscoring them 25-14. The Smurfy Blue Whalers took two beatings and a solid shootout win to start the season.

This game ended up being a battle from the get-go. The Brewers were missing some integral cogs to their scoring machine, but still had some dynamite up front with Brock "Lesnar" Barton, Billy "The Kid" Fletcher & Chris "The Teenage Mutant Ninja TURTLE" Johnson wreaking havoc with his speed. Unfortunately the Whale walked into Union Arena with a chip on their shoulders and a game plan. Granted the game plan was "Skate fast and forecheck like a MOTHA!!!!" Regardless of the Mite B gameplan, the Whalers scored on 2 of their first 3 shots on the Brewer's goalie Petey "The Net Condom" Bartline, but apparently there was a huge hole in that dirty condom, birthing two little smurf goals. (Note from the editor, I just pissed myself writing that). The Whaler's goals came just 71 seconds apart from Ryan McHugo & Gary "The Pearl" Laperle. The remainder of the period was back and forth as the Whalers put into effect the Wobbly Whaler Trap, limiting the number of quality scoring chances for Brewers.

END OF THE FIRST: Brewers 0, Whalers 2
SAVES: Bartline(BRE) 10, Lallier(WHL) 11

The second period started out slow, with little happening. The only high point was that Dave Fitts "Domino" ate 3 pucks in the first minute of play. Jimmy "Zdeno" LeClair made it 3-0 with 5:58 to go after picking a Brewers pocket at center ice and then making a nice move on the defenseman before firing a perfect wrister past Bartleby. Billy Fletcher ended the shutout bid with 3:05 to go with a shorthanded goal. Fletch picked off a SLOPPY cross ice pass from Fitzy, walked in all alone did a little Shake 'N Bake and threw it top corner over Le Lallier.

END OF THE SECOND: Brewers 1, Whalers 3
SAVES: Bartline(BRE) 21, Lallier(WHL) 22

The Brewers brought it back within one goal just 88 seconds into the 3rd, when Garren "TEE" Poirier beat Lallier with some sort of a shot from somewhere on the ice. I'm pretty sure it was one of those crescent moon wind-up slap shots that Garren likes to take, where he actually winds up so far that his stick hits the ground on the other side of his body, unleashing a furious slapshot from that 83 lb frame of his. The Whalers took 2 penalties late in the 3rd priming the Brewers for their comeback, but with Joey "The Mute" Hayes in the box for a bad tripping call on Barton in the offensive zone, the Brew Crew couldn't even manage a shot while up a man. The Whalers were focused and tenacious, mostly because their resident captain, Sean "Puffy" Casavant hasn't played yet this season. The successful kill was more than enough to both kill the drive of the Brewers and spark the intensity of the Whale, as they popped in another one off of a Chris "Googly" Gogan goal with just 90 seconds to go in the game. That officially took the wind out of the sails for the Long Trail Brewers and ruining their run to perfection this season.

END OF REGULATION: Brewers 2, Whalers 4
SAVES: Bartline(BRE) 26, Lallier(WHL) 31

 

Team:	Time:	Type:	Player:	Details:
1st PERIOD
WHL	13:21	Goal	McHugo, Ryan(2)	Assist(s): Johnson, Kirt(2) Oliver, Liam(1)
WHL	12:10	Goal	Laperle, Gary(1)	Assist(s): Leger, Scott(1) Gaede, Chuck(2)
WHL	00:27	Penalty	Laperle, Gary(2)	2 minutes for Tripping
2nd PERIOD
WHL	05:58	Goal	LeClair, Jim(3)	Assist(s): Fitts, Dave(2) gogan, chris(2)
BRE	05:22	Penalty	Sorrentino, Alfonse(1)	2 minutes for Slashing
BRE	03:25	Penalty	Johnson, Chris(1)	2 minutes for Cross Checking
BRE	03:05	Goal	Fletcher, Bill(10)	Assist(s): none
3rd PERIOD
BRE	13:32	Goal	Poirier, Garren(1)	Assist(s): Barton, Brock(3) Yehle, Jason(2)
BRE	12:00	Penalty	Smith, Brian(1)	2 minutes for Hooking
WHL	09:00	Penalty	Johnson, Kirt(1)	2 minutes for Tripping
WHL	05:01	Penalty	Hayes, Joe(1)	2 minutes for Hooking
WHL	01:30	Goal	gogan, chris(1)	Assist(s): Fitts, Dave(3) LeClair, Jim(3)
BRE	00:50	Penalty	Yehle, Jason(1)	2 minutes for Hooking

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Game Comments:
habs101 , NH Registered: Posts: 16	Nov 5th, 2008 09:47 PM someone needs to correct something here. Was the game 3-2 or 4-2? It says 4-2 but only shows three goals scored by the so-called whale.
kpark Quechee, VT Registered: Dec 2003 Posts: 723	Fixed Nov 5th, 2008 10:42 PM My bad, somehow I forgot to add the empty netter in there! Solid game from the Whale though!!!
PaleWhale Lebanon, NH Registered: Posts: 13	No Empty Netter Nov 6th, 2008 10:54 AM There was a big guy in big pads in between red pipes when this goal was scored! Give us some credit please :-)
habs101 , NH Registered: Posts: 16	Nov 6th, 2008 03:38 PM well at least the scoring has been figured out? EMPTY NET, NO EMPTY NET? KPARK I do like your picture but it would be better if she had a habs jersey on. WHATS GOIN ON WITH TUCK? COME ON.
hkydoc WRJ, VT Registered: Jan 2004 Posts: 517	Nice write-up, Park! Nov 7th, 2008 03:50 PM Another hilarious, ball-busting, insulting, and historically accurate UVHL game write-up from none other than the other-other-Commish, Kelly F'n Park! I've got a new nickname for Gary... Gary "Laperle Necklace". HA! Nice goal, Gary! Way to upset the Brew Crew, Whalers. A new look, a new feel, and a new attitude for the Whale.