UPPER VALLEY HOCKEY LEAGUE

ODDS:	Storm Kings by 2 goals
OVER/UNDER:	11 goals

The nordiques will be dangerously short handed tonight against a power house Storm Kingers squad that is getting geared up for their 3rd Lake Placid: Labatt Blue tournament. The Nordiques will be without:

Kelly Park( Torn ACL)
Drew Crapser (Torn vaginal walls)
Mike O'Neil (Dislocated tampon)
Dan Jones (Missing Ball Sack)
Richie McKenna (Sprained Uterus)

I think this could possibly be a blowout, but we'll see how the Nords stand up to the Kingers high powered offense. The Nordiques always have a puncher's chance with Johnny "Five-Hole" Turner protecting the pipes.

Kingers dismantle and embarrass lowly Nordiques.

Week twelve of the 2007-2008 season started off with a bang, a really loud and miserable bang for the Nordiques, and an enormous "We are here, and we are the best" trumpeting bang from the Kingers. The Nordiques, who were missing some crucial cogs in the green machine, started the game off shorthanded seeing as their very "Reliable" goaltender, Johnny "Head in a Fog" Turner thought his team was playing a later game, missed the first period and a good chunk of the second. The Nordiques were lucky enough.........or unlucky enough, that Johnny "Swiss Cheese" Chamberlain was in the house with his equipment to fill in for Turner. The Nords were also without speedy forwards Mikey "Two on One" O'Neil & Dave "Dimebag" Willis, Defensive gem Drew "Buttercup" Crapster and leading scorer Kelly "Stuck in Mud, slow as shit" Park.

On the other hand, the Kingers were back with a full squad PLUS legendary Storm King netminder Dan "The Eiffel Tower" French. The Eiffel Tower, who hadn't played net in almost a year, has been nursing an unreleased injury. Due to Turner's brain fart, the two teams decided to scrimmage until Chamberlain was dressed and ready for action. The scrimmage was just what the Nords needed, and came out flying, potting the first goal of the game just over a minute in when Ian "Snaggle-toothed Golden Boy" Coates took a pass from Shawn "The Beached Whale" McDermott at the Kingers blue line and beat Frenchy high glove side with a nice quick wrister.

The Nordiques went up 2-0 with 2:41 remaining in the 1st when Roger "The Dirty Dentist" Phillips beat Stu "Blues Clues" Close at the far blue line with a nifty move, made a power move to the the far post and fed Greg "Girly Legs" Marsh with a perfectly placed backhander that he one timed past Frenchy inside the far post. That 2-0 lead was about as much fun as the Nordiques would have on this chilly January evening as the Storm Kings took off their crowns and laid a whoopin' down on the lowly Nordiques. The Storm Kings cut the lead in half with 1:16 remaining in the first period off a Ronnie "The Dancing Sprite" Dupuis one-timer from Greg "Loosey Goosey" Gosselin.

END OF THE FIRST: Nordiques 2, Storm Kings 1
SHOTS: Nordiques 3, Storm Kings 6

From the drop of the puck in the 2nd period it was ALL Storm Kings, and it only took 18 seconds for League Scoring Leader, Robbie "The Price IS Right" Barker. Barker pulled a loose puck from behind the net and beat Chambo with a quick backhander through JTs Gaping 5-hole for his 9th goal of the season. Less than a minute later Mike "Fish Nets" Fitzgerald hammered a one-timer from Barker off the crossbar, post and in from the HIGH slot. Chamberlain was down quicker than a cheap hooker in White River Junction. Ricky "The Angry Old Man" Hughes notched his 3rd of the season 27 seconds later on a pass from Fitzgerald and ripped a wristshot past Chambo's blocker to put the Kingers up 4-2. "Goose" Gosselin put the Kingers up 5-2 only 24 seconds later when he redirected a LAME and wide shot from Marty "White Beard" White. I'm sure if you talk to the old man he will say it was a perfectly placed pass/shot, but trust me.....it was just him shooting like an 8 year old girl, soft and wide.....oh, and Marty knows a little something about being SOFT AND WIDE!!! HA!!! The Storm Kings continued to roll as they netted their 5th goal of the period in just over 2 minutes when Timmy "Night Light" Leroy tipped in a Fitzgerald shot past a goaltender who was neither physically nor mentally there. Chamberlain was in a fog, dreaming of candy canes and a defense that could actually prevent an odd man rush. On the other hand, his defense was dreaming of a goaltender that could actually make a save.

The Kingers would close out Chamberlains night at the 10:25 mark when Stuey Close finished a rebound on a beautiful tic-tac-toe play between Close, Dupuis & Ian "Gimpy" Gill. Chamberlain ended the night down 7-2 and only making 11 saves on 18 shots. It was a combination of bad goaltending, bad defeinsive zone play & pure talent by the Kingers. Turner didn't fare much better as he entered the game and gave up 5 goals on 22 shots. Fitzgerald got the Kingers going again by beating Turner with another one-timer off of a Barker pass. Ricky Hughes put in his second goal of the night with 7:15 remaining off of a Leroy pass to put the Kings up 9-2.

At 4:40 of the 2nd period, some rowdy fans....possibly associated with the crazy Canadian Greg Marsh, threw some sort of snack cake on the ice prompting a quick stoppage. The "Drunken" attendees then proceeded to enter the score keeping box to make an announcement, but security quickly removed the hooligans. The Nordiques finally stoppped the bleeding.....temporarily with 2:31 remaining when Roger "The Dirty Dentist" Phillips beat Frenchy with a slap shot from the left curling circle, off the far post and in.

END OF THE SECOND: Nordiques 3, Storm Kings 9
SHOTS: Nordiques 10, Storm Kings 17

I'm not quite sure if the Nordiques buckled down a bit in the 3rd or if the Storm Kings pulled back a bit, not wanting to thoroughly embarrass the "Commishes", but the game seemed to tighten up a little bit. The Storm Kings, however, were still able to get on the board first when Ian Gill chipped in a Barker rebound just 2 and a half minutes in. Dan French let in what may be the WORST goal of his career with 9:51 remaining when Greg Marsh took a slap shot from center ice that trickled in 5-holio on the old man to "CUT" the lead to 10-4. Ian Gill struck again with 9:13 remaining after Turner made a good save, Shawn "Chunk-a-lunk" McDermott tried to shovel the puck back to Turner from the low slot, but just ended up passing it right off of Turner to a waiting Gill who in turn beat a down and out netminder. Timmy Leroy ended the scoring for the night with 6:59 left off of a pass from Fitzerald & White.

END OF REGULATION: Nordiques 4, Storm Kings 12
SHOTS: Nordiques 14, Storm Kings 28

 

Team:	Time:	Type:	Player:	Details:
NDQ	00:00	Goal	Coates, Ian(1)	Assist(s): McDermott, Shawn(1)
NDQ	00:00	Goal	Marsh, Greg(1)	Assist(s): Phillips, Roger(1)
STK	00:00	Goal	Dupuis, Ron(1)	Assist(s): Gosselin, Greg(1) Stout, Artie(1)
STK	00:00	Goal	Barker, Rob(1)	Assist(s): White, Marty(1)
STK	00:00	Goal	Fitzgerald, Mike(1)	Assist(s): Barker, Rob(1) Scull, Tom(1)
STK	00:00	Goal	Hughes, Rick(1)	Assist(s): Barker, Rob(1) Fitzgerald, Mike(1)
STK	00:00	Goal	Gosselin, Greg(1)	Assist(s): White, Marty(1)
STK	00:00	Goal	LeRoy, Tim(1)	Assist(s): Fitzgerald, Mike(1)
STK	00:00	Goal	Close, Stu(1)	Assist(s): Dupuis, Ron(1) Gill, Ian(1)
STK	00:00	Goal	Fitzgerald, Mike(1)	Assist(s): Barker, Rob(1) Stout, Artie(1)
STK	00:00	Goal	Hughes, Rick(1)	Assist(s): LeRoy, Tim(1)
NDQ	00:00	Goal	Phillips, Roger(1)	Assist(s): Melrose, Adrien(1)
STK	00:00	Goal	Gill, Ian(1)	Assist(s): Barker, Rob(1)
NDQ	00:00	Goal	Marsh, Greg(1)	Assist(s): none
STK	00:00	Goal	Gill, Ian(1)	Assist(s): Gosselin, Greg(1) Hughes, Rick(1)
STK	00:00	Goal	LeRoy, Tim(1)	Assist(s): Fitzgerald, Mike(1) White, Marty(1)
STK	00:00	Penalty	Stout, Artie(1)	2 minutes for Holding

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