UPPER VALLEY HOCKEY LEAGUE

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October-PenaltyFest for Kingers & Bruins on Friday the 13th

It was kinda like Octoberfest (but without the beer, bratwurst, and pretty Frauleins), and then getting sick afterwards from too many penalties. They're gonna say they were cursed. They're gonna say that "the man" was out to get them. However, when the dust settled the tally was 12 Storm King penalties to 10 Bruin penalties. In fact, it was USA Hockey and the "New UVHL" that was out to get them (from the 10/10 write-ups and previously referenced crackdown on obstruction). Since Shanny started the revolution through the NHLPA during the lockout, then I say: "BLAME SHANNY". Then you can go pick a fight with him (if you dare), because if you do he'll just rip off his trademark Brendan Shanahan tear-away shoulder pads and go ballistic on your noggin for being such a cheeky bastard for your Old Time Hockey bullshit like when Don Cherry was coach of the Bruins and our handsome Referee-In-Chief Tony Gove was a 70's porn star. There were some growing pains with the new infraction standards as 2 Kingers (and it wasn't even Murf!) and 1 Bruin were ejected for going over the limit on minor penalties. Hopefully it isn't anything that a post-game beer and a few wings can't cure...but it would help if Off The Frickin' Green actually had some real fucking food for us post-game on a Friday night and long week at work! Fat Bastard was pretty cranky when he arrived at OTG at 11:45 PM and all there was were stale nacho chips and NO evidence of ANY wings for UVHLers post-game, ESPECIALLY after he personally spoke with the manager that very afternoon to confirm that OTG was expecting us and would have sustenance for our glycogen-depleted muscles after our vigorous on-ice efforts. "Boo-hoo-hoo, its Leaf Peeper season and we're so busy and tired and don't want your money in our establishment because you don't buy enough beer (bullshit!) and didn't help us through our first year in operation last year...". Oh, really? Okay then. Sorry to inconvenience you with our continued and faithful patronage. Thank God EBA's was still open at 1:30 AM beacuse the stale chips just didn't cut it! Kings "Tenacious-D" Artie Stout got down to 0.5% bodyfat post-game because there weren't any damn wings for him to replenish his 11 fat cells with. Okay, to the game...Tom Scull scored early in the first at 13:59 from Murf to make it 1-0 Kings. Then the PenaltyFest began. Dean Cashman went to the Kings box at 9:20 for holding, then the B's got a 5-on-3 with Scott Turco in for tripping at 9:13. As Turco stepped back onto the ice the B's capitalized on the fading 5-on-4 in the 11th hour at 7:13 with new Bruin recruit Rawley Massoth, who comes to the UVHL from the No Names and Northstars, getting his first UVHL goal from Mike Harrington to tie the game. The first period scoring ended there, but the parade to the "Sin Bin" did not. Another new Bruin, Castleton student Mike Rooney, got his first UVHL stat for slashing at 6:22. The B's then went down 2 skaters as Steve Geiger joined his Castleton buddy in the box for a Bro-Mance. The Kings 5-on-3 was ruined by an interference call to Cashman at 5:20 that, as I was told, happened because someone "bumped into him and fell down". Capt. Cash, the Co-Commishes ARE listening. Rooney made his way to the box for his second minor at 1:34, this time for interference. Bruins' Big Daddy Alec Jessiman was nabbed for hooking at 13:51 of the second while the score remained tied. Don Powers gave the Kings a shot at the lead with the third Bruin penalty in a row at 10:58 for slashing, and the Kings' own John "Mr. Clean" Murphy, an early candidate for this year's Most Sportsmanlike Improved Player award, scored an unassisted marker at 9:42 on the PP to give the Kings the 2-1 lead. The penalties calmed down, albeit briefly, while the Kingers added to their lead and the B's frustration with their second goals of the game by Scull (7:21 from Cashman & Ron Dupius) and Murf (6:46 from Cashman & Artie Stout). The penalties picked back up and Capt. Cash then made the first of 3 early exits with his third minor, this time for slashing at 4:22 of the second. It was Turco again at 3:42 for interference and then a brain fart by the Kings bench with an Its Raining Too Many Men on the Ice call at 2:27, but enough of their locker room antics! Both penalties were killed off and the B's took an interference call by Dave DeSchamp with only 0:01 to go in the period, possibly frustrated at the lack of success of the B's PP attempts. Matching minors were assessed early in the third to Scull and the B's Matt Marrazzo for holding and roughing respectively at 12:04. Still at 5-on-5 Stout scored at 11:24 to make it 5-1 assisted by Turco. Scull got the impressive all even strength Hatty at 7:00 from Dupius and Singe Arnold. That was it for scoring until the very end of the third, but the Roctober PenaltyFest wasn't over as the band came out for a third and final encore with a slew of final frame infractions. The Bruins penalty parade continued as Geiger got his second at 3:40 for holding, then schoolmate Rooney made his early exit at 3:15 for crosschecking with his third minor. Turco hit the showers for the Kings at 2:40 with his 3rd and 4th for tripping, and then some cheeky backtalk for an unsportsmanlike conduct. Last, and defiinitely not least, was Murf for holding the stick at 1:51 that led to the B's Jessiman's 0:27 PPG goal from Seth Warren to finally end the scoresheet entries.

 

Team:	Time:	Type:	Player:	Details:
STK	00:00	Goal	Scull, Tom(1)	Assist(s): Murphy, John(1)
GMB	00:00	Goal	Massoth, Rawley(1)	Assist(s): Harrington, Mike(1)
STK	00:00	Goal	Murphy, John(1)	Assist(s): none
STK	00:00	Goal	Scull, Tom(1)	Assist(s): Cashman, Dean(1) Dupuis, Ron(1)
STK	00:00	Goal	Murphy, John(1)	Assist(s): Cashman, Dean(1) Stout, Artie(1)
STK	00:00	Goal	Stout, Artie(1)	Assist(s): Turco, Scott(1)
STK	00:00	Goal	Scull, Tom(1)	Assist(s): Dupuis, Ron(1) Arnold, Singe(1)
GMB	00:00	Goal	Jessiman, Alec(1)	Assist(s): Warren, Seth(1)
STK	00:00	Penalty	Cashman, Dean(1)	2 minutes for Holding
STK	00:00	Penalty	Turco, Scott(1)	2 minutes for Tripping
GMB	00:00	Penalty	Rooney, Michael(1)	2 minutes for Slashing
GMB	00:00	Penalty	Geiger, Steve(1)	2 minutes for Crosschecking
STK	00:00	Penalty	Cashman, Dean(1)	2 minutes for Interference
GMB	00:00	Penalty	Rooney, Michael(1)	2 minutes for Interference
GMB	00:00	Penalty	Jessiman, Alec(1)	2 minutes for Hooking
GMB	00:00	Penalty	Powers, Don(1)	2 minutes for Slashing
STK	00:00	Penalty	Cashman, Dean(1)	2 minutes for Slashing
STK	00:00	Penalty	Cashman, Dean(1)	10 minutes for Game Misconduct
STK	00:00	Penalty	Turco, Scott(1)	2 minutes for Interference
STK	00:00	Penalty	Arnold, Singe(1)	2 minutes for Too Many Men
GMB	00:00	Penalty	DeSchamp, David(1)	2 minutes for Interference
STK	00:00	Penalty	Scull, Tom(1)	2 minutes for Holding
GMB	00:00	Penalty	Marrazzo, Matt(1)	2 minutes for Roughing
GMB	00:00	Penalty	Geiger, Steve(1)	2 minutes for Holding
GMB	00:00	Penalty	Rooney, Michael(1)	2 minutes for Crosschecking
GMB	00:00	Penalty	Rooney, Michael(1)	10 minutes for Game Misconduct
STK	00:00	Penalty	Turco, Scott(1)	2 minutes for Tripping
STK	00:00	Penalty	Turco, Scott(1)	2 minutes for Unsportsmanlike
STK	00:00	Penalty	Turco, Scott(1)	10 minutes for Game Misconduct
STK	00:00	Penalty	Murphy, John(1)	2 minutes for Holding Stick

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