UPPER VALLEY HOCKEY LEAGUE

ODDS:	Nordiques by 1 goal
OVER/UNDER:	11 goals

This should be an interesting game. The Nordiques are favored by 1 goal going against a downwardly spiraling Bruins squad. If the Bruins can focus on their own zone, and helping out beast of a goalie John Chamberlain they should be alright. They have cleaned up their game and have been staying out of the box, but are now playing like a bunch of pansies. They need to find a middle game, rely on their top line for offense and the other lines as good positional "checking" lines. Because coming off of back to back blowout losses, the Bruins need to get back to basics and play the hard physical game that they have become known for.

The Nordiques on the other hand are riding high off of back to back wins over the Brewers & Leafs. Backed by stud goaltender, Johnny "Temper Tantrum" Turner and 3 zone centerman Ian "The Snaggletoothed" Coates, they are looking for their 3rd straight win.

My prediction....Nordiques 6, Bruins 5.

Bruins get SLAMMED for the second week in a row, 13-2 by the Nordiques.

In what could have been and should have been a good, close game ended in a blowout win for the Nordiques, a continuing NIGHTMARE for the Bruins and the Bruin's netminder, Johnny "Rotten" Chamberlain being committed and on suicide watch. Due to inclement weahter and some weak hockey hearts, the Bruins were riding a short bench and missing their catalysts, forwards; Jordan "The Irish Assassin" McGee, Matty "Snow Scares Me" Marrazzo & Stevie "Geebies" Geiger. Geiger decided that his girlfriend's birthday was more important than the UVHL, and I insisted that the best birthday gift he could have given her was a hockey game and a night out at Off The Green. The Bruins were also missing stalwart defenseman Mike "What'sa Computer?" Harrington & Scotty "I didn't show up because Kelly Park's superior offensive prowess scares me" Fraser.

Missing those crucial cogs in the Bruins hockey machine forced the Bruins to put Mark "Who's frickin' stupid idea was it to put me on defense?" Weglarz and Danny "Iron Lung" Clabough back on defense.

The Nordiques(5-4-0) came out flying in the first period, with great puck movement and intensity, but despite the short bench, the Bruins made it a good game for over 6 minutes until the Nords finally broke through at the 8:55 mark when Captain Tao "Hacksaw" Smith finished a Roger Phillips rebound. Mikey "The Narcissist" O'Neil beat Chamberlain 5-HOLIO off of some nice puck movement from Greg "The beast" Marsh and Park with 5:37 remaining. Marshy netted his first of four goals as he was posting up to the left of the net and one timed a perfect Roger "AARP Card Carrier" Phillips pass. Phillips got his own goal with only 6 seconds left in the period when he beat Chamberlain high glove side.

Johnny "Temper Tantrum" Turner was excellent in the first period turning away 15 shots. Most of the Bruins opportunities came in the 1st period before their short bench got the better of their legs & lungs.

End of the first period: Nordiques 4, Bruins 0.
Shots: Nordiques 20, Bruins 15

The Nordiques started the 2nd period where they left off in the 1st by netting their 5th goal in just over 1 minute. Park took a pass in the neutral zone from Tao Smith, which may have been some sort of weak dump in by Smith, but Park easily beat Weglarz with a nifty "looky here, oops....I'm over there" move as he went inside, cut outside and then backto the net, trying to make too many moves as the net disappeared behind that ginormous ball of flesh called CHAMBO. Park almost fell, lost the puck and ended up behind the goal line with the puck before chipping it out front to a poised and confident Davey-boy "9-Fingers" Willis. Willis took his time and beat Chambo with a nice shot low blocker side. It only took 25 seconds for Mikey O'Neil to score, as he beat 2 defenders in the high slot, lost the puck in the slot and then stole it from team mate "Old Man" Phillips before putting it in. The funny thing is that O'Neil had to make some sort of crazy ass triple lutz move to get the puck back from Phillips who was walking right into it FACING THE NET.......you gotta love when your own team mates won't even give you that easy scoring chance, eh? This was about the time that the Nordiques moved their defenseman up front and a couple of forwards back on D

The massive beast, Marshy, got the next 3 goals for the Nordiques for the natural hat trick in just under a 3 and a half minute span. 2 goals from beautiful wristers in the slot and another one timer from the goal line. All 3 goals were assisted by Nords "Helper Stud" Ian "Midas Touch Snaggletoothed Hands of God" Coates, and two assists from Mikey "The Narcissist" O'Neil. Thomas "THE HOCKEY APE" Dakai put the Nords in double digits on assists from Park & McBUFFALOSAUCE. With Greg "Herpes" Hadley in the box for the only penalty of the game, Park scored a garbage goal in front on assists from Dakai & Phillips. Mikey O'Neil put the Nords up 12-0 with just 36 seconds left in the period as he beat Chambo blocker side, halfway up the net.

End of the second: Nordiques 12, Bruins 0
SHOTS: Nordiques 36, Bruins 24

The Nordiques came out of the gate in the third with plenty of energy and easily controlled the play against a lackluster, deflated & exhausted Bruins squad. With a focus on good puck control and making 15 passes before putting the puck in the net, the Nords could only get between 10 and 11 consecutive passes, which severely limited their scoring potential in the 3rd. It seems as though the only ones really trying to score were, Marsh, who did have fans in the stands that he promised 10 points to, and Mikey O'Neil who did promise his 45 reflections in the glass that he'd get them all points. Park put the Nords up 13-0 on a lame tip that he was just trying to put into Chamberlain's pads, on a very nice backhanded saucer from "Old Man" Phillips.

The Bruins ruined John Turner's shutout bid with 6:11 seconds left in the game when Tyson "Seedy" Seeley beat Turner high blocker with a sweet backhander and off of a nice pass from David "Double D" DesChamps. DesChamps got his own goal with just 40 seconds left when he took advantage of the poor Nordiques defensive play by the Nordiques forwards trying to play Nordiques defense. DesChamps broke down the near boards and beat Turner high glove side with a WICKED flutter puck that tricked Turner.

There was only one Nordique who wasn't happy with the game, and that was "Temper Tantrum" Turner who showed his true colors and ugly side as he BITCHED at his team for ruining his shutout by putting "SHITTY FORWARDS" on defense. But in all reality, after thinking about it, for a mid 30's guy that only has his Men's League hockey to enjoy, it really is tough for a goalie to pad their stats. I apologize Turner, you get the shutout in my eyes!!!!

END OF REGULATION: Nordiques 13, Bruins 2
SHOTS: Noridques 51, Bruins 31

 

Team:	Time:	Type:	Player:	Details:
NDQ	00:00	Goal	Smith, Tao(1)	Assist(s): Phillips, Roger(1) Park, Kelly(1)
NDQ	00:00	Goal	O'Neil, Michael(1)	Assist(s): Marsh, Greg(1) Park, Kelly(1)
NDQ	00:00	Goal	Marsh, Greg(1)	Assist(s): Phillips, Roger(1) Coates, Ian(1)
NDQ	00:00	Goal	Phillips, Roger(1)	Assist(s): Willis, David(1) Coates, Ian(1)
NDQ	00:00	Goal	Willis, David(1)	Assist(s): Park, Kelly(1) Smith, Tao(1)
NDQ	00:00	Goal	O'Neil, Michael(1)	Assist(s): Dakai, Tom(1)
NDQ	00:00	Goal	Marsh, Greg(1)	Assist(s): Coates, Ian(1) O'Neil, Michael(1)
NDQ	00:00	Goal	Marsh, Greg(1)	Assist(s): O'Neil, Michael(1) Coates, Ian(1)
NDQ	00:00	Goal	Marsh, Greg(1)	Assist(s): Coates, Ian(1)
NDQ	00:00	Goal	Dakai, Tom(1)	Assist(s): McDermott, Shawn(1) Park, Kelly(1)
NDQ	00:00	Goal	Park, Kelly(1)	Assist(s): Dakai, Tom(1) Phillips, Roger(1)
NDQ	00:00	Goal	O'Neil, Michael(1)	Assist(s): Coates, Ian(1)
NDQ	00:00	Goal	Park, Kelly(1)	Assist(s): Phillips, Roger(1)
GMB	00:00	Goal	Seely, Tyson(1)	Assist(s): DeSchamp, David(1)
GMB	00:00	Goal	DeSchamp, David(1)	Assist(s): Seely, Tyson(1) Clabough, Daniel(1)
GMB	00:00	Penalty	Hadley, Gregory(1)	2 minutes for Hooking

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Game Comments:
The Dark Canuck Fairlee, VT Registered: Dec 2004 Posts: 340	MMM Dec 13th, 2007 06:37 PM There's no way JT had 31 saves. They probably didn't even get 20 shots on net! I know what he DID do. THROW A FREAKIN TANTRUM AFTER THE GAME! Sorry if we let you down, JT!
hkydoc WRJ, VT Registered: Jan 2004 Posts: 517	You deserved the shutout, JT. Dec 17th, 2007 01:06 PM JT - we let you down. You deserved the shutout and you were 100% right. Hadley's team was a class act and wanted to, nay INSISTED on, completing the game legit, and we should have honored that for you and gave you the shutout. Kudos to the Bruins for keeping it clean and as fun as possible, but it was difficult to have a blast for either team with the lack of numbers and eventual fatigue of the B's. Sorry, JT. We owe you one big time! Park - yet another brilliant and hilarious UVHL write-up to add to your impressive hockey journalistic resume!