THE

UPPER VALLEY HOCKEY LEAGUE

Brewers
Storm Kings
1st
2
0
2rd
1
4
3rd
2
3
FINAL
5
7
Shots
42
36
November 13th, 2007 - 9:40PM
Pre-Game
Recap
Box Score
Discussion
Game ID: 422

KIngers & Brewers score 12 in PENALTY-FEST 2007.

The undefeated Brewers(4-0-1) were hosting the the 2-2-1 Storm Kings on this fateful night that will forever be known as PENALTY FEST 2007. It was a tragic night full of hooking, roughing, high sticking and interference calls, juxtaposed next to some beautiful goals and substandard goaltending. The Brew Crew, loaded up on a special 46% alcohol Long Trail Special Brew called "Piss Yourself Porter", were feeling good to start the game and dominated the Kingers from the start. Johnny Boy Turner was on his game in the first period turning away shot after shot Christian "Passing is for P**SIES" Isaac took a nice pass from Brian "Hops & Barley" Walsh put the puck throu ah defender's legs to his back hand and beat a diving Turner. After one......1-0 Brewers. With just under 2 minutes remaining, Sean "Offensively Inept" McCabe took a nice pass up the middle from Danny "Masshole" Charrette. McCabe had to play the puck with his skates without missing a step, beat Kingers' new guy, Dan May, down the right boards before cutting across the top of the crease to his forehand and beating an outstretched Turner on the ice. Now the interesting thing here, besides the fact that McCabe ACTUALLY SCORED on a breakaway, is that McCabe......who is a defenseman.......on the penalty kill.......took a breakaway pass. I guess they say the best defense is offense. End of the first, Brewers up 2-0 on a dominant period. 2 total goals, 5 total penalties

The Brewers picked up in the 2nd period where they left off. Only 2:30 in, Nick "Dr. McSelfish" Bayley broke down the left boards only to be two pad stacked by Turner. Bayley pulled the rebound behind the goal line while Turner took a cat nap and then fed it back through the crease behind Turner to a wide open "Tunnel Vision". The Kingers finally got on the board less than 2 minutes later when Mikey Fitzgerald took a pass in the neutral zone from Robbie "The Price is wrong BITCH" Barker. Fitzy kicked it up to his stick and down the right hand boards before firing a perfect pass back to Barker through the crease back door. Barker added another goal 41 seconds later on a nice pass from Tim "The Last Dragon" Leroy in the slot and burying it 5-HOLE on Peter "The Penis Pump" Bartline (DISCLAIMER: In all reality I have no proof that Barty actually uses a Penis Pump, this was purely used for the fact that I have run out of funny things to call him). That was Barker's 2nd goal of the game to to match the 2 hooking penalties he had in the first. The Kingers tied the game up three and a half minutes later while on the penalty kill, when Isaac forced a pass from the point to Bayley and Barker picked it off. Barker then tipped the puck past a pinching Isaac. Barker was more or less in all alone when Isaac hooked him causing Barker to get off a weak shot, but of course Petey "Captain Rebound" Bartline could only put the rebound right on the stick of Timmy Leroy, who easily deposited the game tying goal.

With Barker serving his 3rd minor of the game for Roughing, Artie Stout turned on the jets for an end to end rush capped off with a 5-HOLIO goal on Petey "It's a sure bet to shoot at that gaping canyon between those long awkward things he calls lets" Bartline. Barker, who was in the box full of shame correctly deemed Stout, "Artie the one man Party." End of second, 4-3 Kingers. 7 total goals, 14 total penalties.

The Kingers continued their domination into the 3rd period when Ronnie "The Sprite-Like Dwarf" Dupuis finished a Barker pass from behind the net. Dupuis' goal was on the power play after Brent Adams took his third penalty of the game on a hook and then decided to use some expletives to plead his case, getting him an upsortsmanlike conduct call, his 4th penalty and an ejection from the game. Less than 2 minutes later Barker took his 4th penalty on an interference call, ending his night with 2 goals, 2 assists, 8 PIMS, 1st star of the game and a P.O.W. nomination. "The Masshole", Dan Charrette pulled the Brewers within one on the power play with Stout in the box for a hooking call. Charrette took a pass from to the point from "Dr. McSelfish", walked in to the top of the circle and blasted one past a screened Turner. Dupuis put the Kingers back up by 2 on a nice play by Stu "The Lanky One" Close as he took a dump out to the red line made a couple of nice moves to shake a defender, then threw it on net where Bartleby obvoiusly turned the rebound right to Dupuis.

Charrette again brought the Brewers back within one on a nice cross ice pass from Walsh through a defenders legs. With only 37 seconds remaining the Brewers had a face off in the offensive zone, they pulled Bartline for an empty net thinking that the posts had a better chance of making saves than he did. Bayley won the puck cleanly to the point, right between both defenders. "The Sprite" Dupuis walked right past his winger, picked up the puck in the neutral zone and put the game out of reach with an empty netter.

Great game. Lots of penalties and only one instance of a player running his mouth to the refs.
LEAGUE PICK 'EM
 0%
Brewers
0% 
Storm Kings
PICKS
THREE STARS

Rob Barker

GOALS: 2
POINTS: 4

Ron Dupuis

GOALS: 3
POINTS: 4

Dan Charette

GOALS: 2
POINTS: 4

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